London's Heart: A NovelFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
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London's Heart: A Novel
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
London (England) -- Fiction
"Who can tell her thoughts? Her mind may have been awake. She passed
away in her sleep--peacefully, thank God! Her life has not been a
happy one; and it is God's mercy that she was spared in her last
moments the pain of seeing you as you are. It would have recalled her
bitterest memories."
"I am better now, grandfather. May I see her?"
"Yes. Lily, my darling!" and the old man took her in his arms and
kissed her; "you must go to bed--you are tired."
But she clung to him, and entreated to be allowed to sit up with them.
"No, dear child," he said; "we shall want you to be strong to-morrow.
What is that you say? You are frightened! Nay, nay, dear child! Sleep
will compose you. Alfred and I have much to talk of, and we must be
alone. Good night, dear child!"
When they left the room, Lily looked round and shuddered. The silence
was full of terrors for her, and it was with difficulty she restrained
herself from calling out. The events of the night had unnerved her.
She went into the passage, and, listening, heard the buzz of voices in
her grandfather's room. She could not catch the words, but it was a
comfort to her to hear the sound; it was companionship. She crouched
upon the ground, and lay there, with her head against the wall. A
thousand fancies crowded her brain: the music-hall, with its glare of
lights, and its great concourse of people, laughing, and drinking and
applauding, presented itself to her in a variety of fantastic shapes,
each image being perfect in itself and utterly engrossing, and yet
fading entirely away in a moment, and giving place to a successor as
vivid and as engrossing as any that had gone before. Other images
presented themselves. Mr. Sheldrake, with his studied polished manner,
and his smooth voice; Alfred and she in the dark passage; her
grandfather, with a stern bearing quite unusual to him: the doctor,
with his grave face and measured tones; and her mother lying dead,
with grey stony face. Everything but the image of her mother was quick
with life; through all the bustle and vivid movements of the other
figures in her fevered fancies, that one figure presented and intruded
itself in many strange ways, but always cold, and grey, and still.
Presently the entire interest of her dreams centred itself in this
image. Between her and her mother no great love had ever existed; the
dead woman's nature had been repressive; an overwhelming grief had
clouded her life, and she had yielded to it and sunk under it. She had
hugged this grief close, as it were, and so wrapped herself in it,
that her natural love had become frozen. So that the feeling which
Lily experienced now in her dreams, for her dead mother, had nothing
in it of that agonising grief which springs from intense love. And yet
she shuddered at the part she was playing towards that grey cold form.
It was lying before her, and she, dressed in bright colours, was
dancing and singing round it. The contrast between her own gaiety and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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