Yesterday I stood on a hillock and looked out across the wintry woods.
They have a different expression now; they have gone gray and bedraggled,
and the midday sun has thawed down the snow and diminished it. There are
catkins everywhere, drifts of them in the underbrush, looking like letters
of the alphabet piled in a heap. The moon rises, the stars break forth. I
am cold and shiver a little, but I have nothing to do in the hut, and
prefer to shiver as long as possible. In the winter I did nothing so
foolish, but went home if I was cold. Now I'm tired of that, too. It is
the spring.
The sky is pure and cool, lying wide open to all the stars. There is a
great flock of worlds up in that endless meadow, tiny, teeming worlds, so
tiny that they are like the sound of a tinkling bell; as I look at them, I
can hear thousands of tiny bells. Yes, certainly I am being drawn more and
more toward the grassy slopes of spring.
V
I fill the fireplace with pine wood, hoist my belongings to my back, and
leave the hut. "Farewell, Madame."
That was the end.
I feel no pleasure at leaving my shelter, but a touch of sadness--as I
always do on leaving a place that has been my home for some time. But all
the world stands outside calling to me. Indeed I am like all lovers of the
woods and fields; wordlessly we had agreed to meet, and as I sat there
last night, I felt my eyes being drawn to the door.
Several times I look back at the hut, with the smoke rising up from the
chimney; the smoke billows and waves to me, and I wave back.
The silky pallor of the morning refreshes me; in a long blue haze over the
forest, a slow dawn rises. It looks like a cheerful piratical coast in the
sky before me. The mountains are all on my left.
After a few hours' march I am like new from top to toe, and I press on
swiftly. I beat the air with my stick, and it says "hoo" as it swishes;
whenever I think I deserve it, I sit down and give myself food.
No, you have not my pleasures in the town.
I beat my legs with my stick from the sheer exuberance of living, and
nearly cry out. I behave as though the burden on my back had no weight,
taking needless leaps, and overexerting myself a little; but an
overexertion to which one is driven by inner content is easy to bear. In
my solitude, many miles from men and houses, I am in a childishly happy
and carefree state of mind, which you are incapable of understanding
unless someone explains it to you. I play a little game with myself,
pretending to have discovered a remarkable kind of tree. At first I pay
little attention, then I stretch my neck and contract my eyelids and gaze.
"What!" I say to myself. "Surely it couldn't be--"
I throw down my burden and approach, inspect the tree and nod sagely,
saying it is a strange, fabled tree that I have discovered. And I take out
my notebook and describe it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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