Looking Back: An AutobiographyRichardson, Merrick Abner
History
Looking Back: An Autobiography
Richardson, Merrick Abner
Richardson, Merrick Abner, 1841-
When all was still I crept from my hiding place, washed my face, but
could not eat. As usual, the shutters were closed, so I lit a candle
and began to rummage around the store. I found Stubbs had a new musket
with a horn of powder and a bag of shot, and as I knew he would gladly
give them to me, I took them. Then I waited until near dawn, when I
went out to the hill in the woods and stayed all day, on the very spot
where I had spent many happy hours with Fanny. I could look down into
the room where I had courted and wedded my dear Fanny, and could see
part on one of her arms, as her body lay near the window, in Father
Shepherd's house. Also I saw the village carpenter making my Fanny's
coffin and a stranger digging her grave. That night I slept in the
store again and the next day, from the same hill, I saw them lower her
body into the grave, but my heart was locked in despair; I could not
weep.
REVENGE
At night I came down and went to the grave. The distant stars seemed to
be shedding their soft light on a lonely world, while the moon about
setting cast her ghastly beams among the chestnut trees, making the
scene, oh, so lonely, in that silent little graveyard. Out upon the
cold waters of the bay I could see the silver waves glisten in the
moonlight among the familiar bayous, which I should never see again,
while far beyond the bosom of the great Atlantic seemed to heave a sigh
of grief at my loneliness. I fell upon dear Fanny's grave, kissed the
clay and wondered if she was there. Then breathing a long farewell, I
folded my hands in prayer, asking God to forgive me for the crime I was
about to commit.
Hastily I then walked towards Stubbs' store, resolved to settle with
Deacon Hobbs and then turn my back on white man forever. I entered the
store and wrote on a slip of brown paper: "Obadiah Stubbs, a friend has
taken your gun and ammunition," and placed the slip in the cash drawer.
When outside of the store I walked lively to the deacon's nearest
storehouse, then ran from one to the other, and at last set fire to his
home, then stepped back into the lilac bushes and cocked my gun.
Soon I saw great curls of smoke ascending from the storehouses on the
wharf, then the barns and sheds, and now the home had caught fire. Then
seeing the family in danger, to awaken them I seized a rock and dashed
it through the window.
The family were now aroused and Hobbs ran to the well for water, when
I raised my gun, but a shadow came before me, and I could not see him.
Again he ran out and again I raised the gun, determined to kill him,
just as I felt a soft pressure on my shoulder and turning quickly I
found myself alone. Then I knew I must not.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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