Lord Arthur Savile's Crime; The Portrait of Mr. W.H., and Other Stories — John Shaqi
Lord Arthur Savile's Crime; The Portrait of Mr. W.H., and Other StoriesWilde, Oscar
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Lord Arthur Savile's Crime; The Portrait of Mr. W.H., and Other Stories
Wilde, Oscar
Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘Of course; that is the only reason you come to see an ugly old woman
like myself. I wonder you men don’t take warning. _On a fait des folies
pour moi_, and here I am, a poor rheumatic creature, with a false front
and a bad temper. Why, if it were not for dear Lady Jansen, who sends me
all the worst French novels she can find, I don’t think I could get
through the day. Doctors are no use at all, except to get fees out of
one. They can’t even cure my heartburn.’
‘I have brought you a cure for that, Lady Clem,’ said Lord Arthur
gravely. ‘It is a wonderful thing, invented by an American.’
‘I don’t think I like American inventions, Arthur. I am quite sure I
don’t. I read some American novels lately, and they were quite
nonsensical.’
‘Oh, but there is no nonsense at all about this, Lady Clem! I assure you
it is a perfect cure. You must promise to try it’; and Lord Arthur
brought the little box out of his pocket, and handed it to her.
‘Well, the box is charming, Arthur. Is it really a present? That is
very sweet of you. And is this the wonderful medicine? It looks like a
_bonbon_. I’ll take it at once.’
‘Good heavens! Lady Clem,’ cried Lord Arthur, catching hold of her hand,
‘you mustn’t do anything of the kind. It is a homoeopathic medicine, and
if you take it without having heartburn, it might do you no end of harm.
Wait till you have an attack, and take it then. You will be astonished
at the result.’
‘I should like to take it now,’ said Lady Clementina, holding up to the
light the little transparent capsule, with its floating bubble of liquid
aconitine. I am sure it is delicious. The fact is that, though I hate
doctors, I love medicines. However, I’ll keep it till my next attack.’
‘And when will that be?’ asked Lord Arthur eagerly. ‘Will it be soon?’
‘I hope not for a week. I had a very bad time yesterday morning with it.
But one never knows.’
‘You are sure to have one before the end of the month then, Lady Clem?’
‘I am afraid so. But how sympathetic you are to-day, Arthur! Really,
Sybil has done you a great deal of good. And now you must run away, for
I am dining with some very dull people, who won’t talk scandal, and I
know that if I don’t get my sleep now I shall never be able to keep awake
during dinner. Good-bye, Arthur, give my love to Sybil, and thank you so
much for the American medicine.’
‘You won’t forget to take it, Lady Clem, will you?’ said Lord Arthur,
rising from his seat.
‘Of course I won’t, you silly boy. I think it is most kind of you to
think of me, and I shall write and tell you if I want any more.’
Lord Arthur left the house in high spirits, and with a feeling of immense
relief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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