Lord Arthur Savile's Crime; The Portrait of Mr. W.H., and Other StoriesWilde, Oscar
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Lord Arthur Savile's Crime; The Portrait of Mr. W.H., and Other Stories
Wilde, Oscar
Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘My dear Duchess, surely Providence can resist temptation by this time.
I think every one should have their hands told once a month, so as to
know what not to do. Of course, one does it all the same, but it is so
pleasant to be warned. Now if some one doesn’t go and fetch Mr. Podgers
at once, I shall have to go myself.’
‘Let me go, Lady Windermere,’ said a tall handsome young man, who was
standing by, listening to the conversation with an amused smile.
‘Thanks so much, Lord Arthur; but I am afraid you wouldn’t recognise
him.’
‘If he is as wonderful as you say, Lady Windermere, I couldn’t well miss
him. Tell me what he is like, and I’ll bring him to you at once.’
‘Well, he is not a bit like a cheiromantist. I mean he is not
mysterious, or esoteric, or romantic-looking. He is a little, stout man,
with a funny, bald head, and great gold-rimmed spectacles; something
between a family doctor and a country attorney. I’m really very sorry,
but it is not my fault. People are so annoying. All my pianists look
exactly like poets, and all my poets look exactly like pianists; and I
remember last season asking a most dreadful conspirator to dinner, a man
who had blown up ever so many people, and always wore a coat of mail, and
carried a dagger up his shirt-sleeve; and do you know that when he came
he looked just like a nice old clergyman, and cracked jokes all the
evening? Of course, he was very amusing, and all that, but I was awfully
disappointed; and when I asked him about the coat of mail, he only
laughed, and said it was far too cold to wear in England. Ah, here is
Mr. Podgers! Now, Mr. Podgers, I want you to tell the Duchess of
Paisley’s hand. Duchess, you must take your glove off. No, not the left
hand, the other.’
‘Dear Gladys, I really don’t think it is quite right,’ said the Duchess,
feebly unbuttoning a rather soiled kid glove.
‘Nothing interesting ever is,’ said Lady Windermere: ‘_on a fait le monde
ainsi_. But I must introduce you. Duchess, this is Mr. Podgers, my pet
cheiromantist. Mr. Podgers, this is the Duchess of Paisley, and if you
say that she has a larger mountain of the moon than I have, I will never
believe in you again.’
‘I am sure, Gladys, there is nothing of the kind in my hand,’ said the
Duchess gravely.
‘Your Grace is quite right,’ said Mr. Podgers, glancing at the little fat
hand with its short square fingers, ‘the mountain of the moon is not
developed. The line of life, however, is excellent. Kindly bend the
wrist. Thank you. Three distinct lines on the _rascette_! You will
live to a great age, Duchess, and be extremely happy. Ambition—very
moderate, line of intellect not exaggerated, line of heart—’
‘Now, do be indiscreet, Mr. Podgers,’ cried Lady Windermere.
‘Nothing would give me greater pleasure,’ said Mr. Podgers, bowing, ‘if
the Duchess ever had been, but I am sorry to say that I see great
permanence of affection, combined with a strong sense of duty.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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