I have the honour, etc. etc. W. PITT. I wrote your Grace by the Post ye 2nd inst. which I hope came to your hands.'[245] Two days afterwards he answered Hardwicke. In this letter the notable passage is that in which he points to retreat, having in his mind, it would seem, some specific office:--'The weight of irremovable royal displeasure is a load too great to move under; it must crush any man; it has sunk and broken me. I succumb, and wish for nothing but a decent and innocent retreat.... To speak without a figure I will presume ... to tell my utmost wish; it is that a retreat, not void of advantage or derogatory to the rank of the office I hold, might, as soon as practicable, be opened to me.... Out of his Grace's (Newcastle's) immediate province accommodations of this kind arise.'[246] By the same messenger Pitt wrote to Lyttelton one of the terse notes which throw a hundredfold more light on his real temper than his more pompous lucubrations, and which are infinitely more readable than the long rigmaroles which he wrote to official persons. He professes in this to be more than satisfied with Newcastle's answer, and also with the Chancellor's. ... The Duke of Newcastle's letter to me is not only in a temper very different from what you saw his Grace in, but is writ with a condescension, and in terms so flattering, that it pains me. I am almost tempted to think there is kindness at the bottom of it, _which, if left to itself, would before now have shewed itself_ in effects. If I have not the fruit, I have the leaves of it in abundance; a beautiful foliage of fine words.... The Chancellor's letter is the most condescending, friendly, obliging thing that can be imagined. I have the deepest sense of his goodness for me; but I am really compelled, by every reason fit for a man to listen to, to resist (as to the point of activity in Parliament) farther than I like to do. I have intimated retreat and pointed out such a one in general as I shall really like. Resolved not to disturb Government; I desire to be released from the oar of Parliamentary drudgery. I am (un)willing[247] to sit there and be ready to be called out into action when the Duke of Newcastle's personal interests might require, or Government should deign to employ me as an instrument. I am not fond of making speeches (though some may think I am). I never cultivated the talent, but as an instrument of action in a country like ours....[248]