She would not let him come down the lift with her, so when he had seen
the smooth box drop noiselessly below the level, he went back again to
his model of the Abbey and the little dummy figures. But, before he
began to move these about again, he sat for a moment or two with pursed
lips, staring.
CHAPTER IV
I
A week later Mabel awoke about dawn; and for a moment or two forgot
where she was. She even spoke Oliver’s name aloud, staring round the
unfamiliar room, wondering what she did here. Then she remembered, and
was silent....
It was the eighth day she had spent in this Home; her probation was
finished: to-day she was at liberty to do that for which she had come.
On the Saturday of the previous week she had gone through her private
examination before the magistrate, stating under the usual conditions of
secrecy her name, age and home, as well as her reasons for making the
application for Euthanasia; and all had passed off well. She had
selected Manchester as being sufficiently remote and sufficiently large
to secure her freedom from Oliver’s molestation; and her secret had been
admirably kept. There was not a hint that her husband knew anything of
her intentions; for, after all, in these cases the police were bound to
assist the fugitive. Individualism was at least so far recognised as to
secure to those weary of life the right of relinquishing it. She
scarcely knew why she had selected this method, except that any other
seemed impossible. The knife required skill and resolution; firearms
were unthinkable, and poison, under the new stringent regulations, was
hard to obtain. Besides, she seriously wished to test her own
intentions, and to be quite sure that there was no other way than
this....
Well, she was as certain as ever. The thought had first come to her in
the mad misery of the outbreak of violence on the last day of the old
year. Then it had gone again, soothed away by the arguments that man was
still liable to relapse. Then once more it had recurred, a cold and
convincing phantom, in the plain daylight revealed by Felsenburgh’s
Declaration. It had taken up its abode with her then, yet she controlled
it, hoping against hope that the Declaration would not be carried into
action, occasionally revolting against its horror. Yet it had never been
far away; and finally when the policy sprouted into deliberate law, she
had yielded herself resolutely to its suggestion. That was eight days
ago; and she had not had one moment of faltering since that.
Yet she had ceased to condemn. The logic had silenced her. All that she
knew was that she could not bear it; that she had misconceived the New
Faith; that for her, whatever it was for others, there was no hope....
She had not even a child of her own.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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