Those eight days, required by law, had passed very peacefully. She had
taken with her enough money to enter one of the private homes furnished
with sufficient comfort to save from distractions those who had been
accustomed to gentle living: the nurses had been pleasant and
sympathetic; she had nothing to complain of.
She had suffered, of course, to some degree from reactions. The second
night after her arrival had been terrible, when, as she lay in bed in
the hot darkness, her whole sentient life had protested and struggled
against the fate her will ordained. It had demanded the familiar
things--the promise of food and breath and human intercourse; it had
writhed in horror against the blind dark towards which it moved so
inevitably; and, in the agony had been pacified only by the half-hinted
promise of some deeper voice suggesting that death was not the end. With
morning light sanity had come back; the will had reassumed the mastery,
and, with it, had withdrawn explicitly the implied hope of continued
existence. She had suffered again for an hour or two from a more
concrete fear; the memory came back to her of those shocking revelations
that ten years ago had convulsed England and brought about the
establishment of these Homes under Government supervision--those
evidences that for years in the great vivisection laboratories human
subjects had been practised upon--persons who with the same intentions
as herself had cut themselves off from the world in private
euthanasia-houses, to whom had been supplied a gas that suspended
instead of destroying animation.... But this, too, had passed with the
return of light. Such things were impossible now under the new
system--at least, in England. She had refrained from making an end upon
the Continent for this very reason. There, where sentiment was weaker,
and logic more imperious, materialism was more consistent. Since men
were but animals--the conclusion was inevitable.
There had been but one physical drawback, the intolerable heat of the
days and nights. It seemed, scientists said, that an entirely unexpected
heat-wave had been generated; there were a dozen theories, most of which
were mutually exclusive one of another. It was humiliating, she thought,
that men who professed to have taken the earth under their charge should
be so completely baffled. The conditions of the weather had of course
been accompanied by disasters; there had been earthquakes of astonishing
violence, a ripple had wrecked not less than twenty-five towns in
America; an island or two had disappeared, and that bewildering Vesuvius
seemed to be working up for a denouement. But no one knew really the
explanation. One man had been wild enough to say that some cataclysm had
taken place in the centre of the earth.... So she had heard from her
nurse; but she was not greatly interested. It was only tiresome that she
could not walk much in the garden, and had to be content with sitting in
her own cool shaded room on the second floor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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