Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
That woman could not retroact and touch the memory of Ida. That dear
vision remained intact. He drew forth his locket, and opening it gazed
passionately at the fair girlish face, now so hopelessly passed away. By
that blessed picture he could hold her and defy the woman. Remembering
that fat, jolly, comfortable matron, he should not at least ever again
have to reproach himself with his cruel treatment of Ida. And yet why
not? What had the woman to do with her? She had suffered as much as if
the woman had not forgotten it all. His reckoning was with Ida,--was
with her. Where should he find her? In what limbo could he imagine her?
Ah, that was the wildering cruelty of it. She was not this woman, nor
was she dead in any conceivable natural way so that her girlish spirit
might have remained eternally fixed. She was nothing. She was nowhere.
She existed only in this locket, and her only soul was in his heart, far
more surely than in this woman who had forgotten her.
Death was a hopeful, cheerful state compared to that nameless
nothingness that was her portion. For had she been dead, he could still
have loved her soul; but now she had none. The soul that once she had,
and, if she had then died, might have kept, had been forfeited by living
on, and had passed to this woman, and would from her pass on further
till finally fixed and vested in the decrepitude of age by death. So,
then, it was death and not life that secured the soul, and his sweet
Ida had none because she had not died in time. Ah! had not he heard
somewhere that the soul is immortal and never dies? Where, then, was
Ida’s? She had disappeared utterly out of the universe. She had been
transformed, destroyed, swallowed up in this woman, a living sepulchre,
more cruel than the grave, for it devoured the soul as well as the
body. Pah! this prating about immortality was absurd, convicted of
meaninglessness before a tragedy like this; for what was an immortality
worth that was given to her last decrepit phase of life, after all its
beauty and strength and loveliness had passed soulless away? To be aught
but a mockery, immortality must be as manifold as the manifold phases of
life. Since life devours so many souls, why suppose death will spare the
last one?
But he would contend with destiny. Painters should multiply the face in
his locket. He would immortalize her in a poem. He would constantly keep
the lamp trimmed and burning before her shrine in his heart. She should
live in spite of the woman.
But he could now never make amends to her for the suffering his cruel,
neglectful youth had caused her. He had scarcely realized before how
much the longing to make good that wrong had influenced bis quest of
her. Tears of remorse for an unatonable crime gathered in his eyes. He
might, indeed, enrich this woman, or educate her children, or pension
her husband; but that would be no atonement to Ida.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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