“... And when I came back--it was all so different. I could pity
them--my heart breaking for my father and mother, who had not the
wonder, and only the fears. They were passing out--after doing their
best as they saw it, for many, many years together--and I had brought
them the tragedy, the crumbling of their house--a shame upon the
patriarch of the long road, a blackness upon her maternities.... It was
my father’s thought to bring Paul to me. As if I would have taken him,
but he came--my father having given him much money.... Oh, do not be
hard upon him. There is wildness in him and looseness, but the world
had showed him the way and he was young. I said to him (it was within
ten days after the coming and my father and mother were gone from the
room), ‘I would not think of marrying you, Paul, but do not tell them.
As soon as I am ready, I shall go away with you, and they will not be
so unhappy--and as soon as we are well away, you shall be free. And you
may keep the money, Paul.’
“... And now it is like bringing you a reward for listening so well. I
tell you now of a moment of beauty and wonder--such as I had known but
once before, and was more real to me than all the rest. It made that
which was sorrowful and sordid of the rest seem of little account....
It was early evening in the upper room and still light. An old
servant who loved me was in the room, and the Gleam was sleeping--the
fourteenth day after his coming. The woman helped me to a chair and
drew it to the window, and all was hushed. Even before I looked out, an
unspeakable happiness began to gush into my heart.
“The ravine was crowding with darkness, but the long road was full
of light. The houses between seemed to dwindle but the distance was
full of radiance--that perfect afterglow again. Not for twenty years
had there been such a sunset, and now the sky was massed with gold of
the purple martin’s breast, and the roof of Paul’s house was like two
open leaves of beaten gold--everywhere the air filled with strange
brightenings. The fragrance from the fields arose to meet the heaven
falling from the sky.
“I tried to make believe, but the road was empty. The Guest would never
come again, and yet on such a night as this, he had come to me--like
a saint that has finished his work, like a Master coming down a last
time. All the room and the house was hushed behind me.... But the long
road was empty.
“The old servant at last could bear it no longer. Perhaps she thought
I did not breathe. Softly she crossed the room to the cradle, lifted
the Gleam and placed him in my lap--as if to call me back. Breath came
quickly at the touch of him, and she must have heard a low, joyous
sound as I felt the child. With one hand I held him, patting his
shoulder softly, slowly, with the other, until the ecstasy of long ago
flowed into my being.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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