England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Wives -- Fiction
"The forsaken are apt to be bitter," he went on. "You have, beyond
other women, a power of winning love which is past explaining. Do
not be surprised if people get angry at finding that they have been
despoiled of your affection—even an unconscious despoiler cannot hope
to escape indignation."
"A very unjust indignation," I said, faintly.
"Perhaps it is," he admitted, in a quiet voice. "But it is no light
trial to see all the richest offerings heaped upon the shrine of a
saint who accepts them with cold complacency. We, whose altars are
bare, would have given worlds for a single gem or flower."
The words sent a thrill of sharp pain through my heart. Had he observed
that growing coldness of which I had been conscious in Ronald? Did he
know that my husband had turned back in spirit to a woman whom he had
loved before he had ever seen me?
The jealousy which was silently burning deep down at the bottom of my
soul, had consumed all my peace. I could not speak of it to any one,
but I was always haunted by a vague notion that Ronald saw Ida Lorimer
often, and found a delight in her society that he had ceased to find in
mine.
There was a pause, and I sat waiting almost breathlessly for William
Greystock's next words, feeling miserably afraid that he would say
something to confirm my fears.
"Ronald's handiwork, I see," he remarked, going close to the
chimney-piece to inspect the tambourine. "How clever he is in doing
this kind of thing! Miss Lorimer is making some progress under his
instruction, but she has not much taste."
He spoke in a natural, easy tone, as if he had taken it for granted
that I knew all about the intimacy between my husband and Ida Lorimer.
I turned faint and sick, and my voice sounded strangely harsh when I
spoke.
"I did not know that Ronald was giving lessons," I said, involuntarily.
"Did you not?" William turned, and looked at me with a smile. "Yes, he
is not a bad teacher, I believe. But, Mrs. Hepburne, I am forgetting
the object of my visit; I came to invite you to a picnic at Richmond.
Ronald is coming, of course, and I hope you will be persuaded to join
us."
How could he smile so blandly when my poor distressed face was fronting
his? Either he was utterly obtuse, or he was taking a positive pleasure
in my sufferings.
I did not want to go to Richmond—I did not want to go anywhere—the
desire to see green trees and fields was still strong within me, but I
longed to be alone in the old haunts of my childhood, in scenes which
were unconnected with the love and pain of my later life. Yet how could
I refuse an invitation which had been already accepted by my husband?
"I am a very poor creature now-a-days," I said, with a miserable
attempt to speak lightly. "People who go to picnics ought to be good
walkers, and have a fund of animal spirits. I am not gay enough to join
your party, Mr. Greystock."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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