Love Among the Lions: A Matrimonial ExperienceAnstey, F.
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Love Among the Lions: A Matrimonial Experience
Anstey, F.
Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Weddings -- Fiction
I had just put on a clean shirt when he was back again; "I could only
get goldbeater's skin," he remarked, "and precious little of that, so
be careful with it. And the parson's come, and would like to have a
look at the licence."
I handed him the document, and tried to apply the goldbeater's skin,
which curled and shrivelled, and would stick to nothing but my
fingers--and still the hæmorrhage continued.
"It's all over your shirt _now_!" said the lion-tamer, as if I was
doing it on purpose. "I wouldn't have had this happen for something.
Why, I've known 'em get excited with the _smell_ of blood, let alone
the sight of it."
"Do you mean the lions?" I inquired, with a faint sick sensation.
"Well, it was the _tiger_ my mind was running on more," was his gloomy
reply.
My own mind began to run on the tiger too, and a most unpleasant form
of mental exercise it was.
"After all," said Niono with an optimism that sounded a trifle forced,
"there's no saying. He _mayn't_ spot it. _None_ of 'em mayn't."
"But what do you think yourself?" I could not help asking.
"I couldn't give an opinion till we get inside," he answered, "but
we'll have the red hot irons handy in case he tries on any of his
games. And if you can't stop that chin of yours," he added, taking a
wrapper from his own neck and tossing it to me, "you'd better hide it
in this--they'll only think you've got a sore throat or something. But
do hurry up. I'm just going to see the old elephant put in the shafts,
and then I'll come back for you, so don't dawdle."
Once more I was alone; I felt so chilly that I put on my old coat and
waistcoat again, for I did not venture to touch my new suit until my
chin left off bleeding, and it seemed inexhaustible, though the
precious minutes were slipping by faster and faster.
The great building had grown suddenly silent; I could almost feel the
air vibrating with the suppressed excitement of the vast unseen crowd
which was waiting patiently for the lions, and Lurana--and me.
Soon I heard a voice--probably a menagerie assistant's--in the passage
outside, and presently a shuffling tread approaching, and then I
perceived towering above the wooden partition, a huge grey bulk,
ridged and fissured like a mountain side, and touched where the light
fell on it with a mouldy bloom--it was the elephant on his way to be
attached to the lion-cage!
I stared helplessly up at his uncouth profile, with the knobby
forehead worn to a shiny black, and the sardonic little eye that met
mine with a humorous intelligence, as though recommending me to haste
to the wedding.
He plodded past, and I realised that I had no time to change now; my
new wedding suit was a useless extravagance--I must go to the altar as
I was. Niono would be back to fetch me in a moment. Lurana would never
forgive me for keeping her waiting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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