TATT. Well, my witnesses are not present. But I confess I have had
favours from persons. But as the favours are numberless, so the persons
are nameless.
SCAN. Pooh, this proves nothing.
TATT. No? I can show letters, lockets, pictures, and rings; and if
there be occasion for witnesses, I can summon the maids at the
chocolate-houses, all the porters at Pall Mall and Covent Garden, the
door-keepers at the Playhouse, the drawers at Locket’s, Pontack’s, the
Rummer, Spring Garden, my own landlady and _valet de chambre_; all who
shall make oath that I receive more letters than the Secretary’s office,
and that I have more vizor-masks to enquire for me, than ever went to see
the Hermaphrodite, or the Naked Prince. And it is notorious that in a
country church once, an enquiry being made who I was, it was answered, I
was the famous Tattle, who had ruined so many women.
VAL. It was there, I suppose, you got the nickname of the Great Turk.
TATT. True; I was called Turk-Tattle all over the parish. The next
Sunday all the old women kept their daughters at home, and the parson had
not half his congregation. He would have brought me into the spiritual
court, but I was revenged upon him, for he had a handsome daughter whom I
initiated into the science. But I repented it afterwards, for it was
talked of in town. And a lady of quality that shall be nameless, in a
raging fit of jealousy, came down in her coach and six horses, and
exposed herself upon my account; Gad, I was sorry for it with all my
heart. You know whom I mean—you know where we raffled—
SCAN. Mum, Tattle.
VAL. ’Sdeath, are not you ashamed?
ANG. O barbarous! I never heard so insolent a piece of vanity. Fie,
Mr. Tattle; I’ll swear I could not have believed it. Is this your
secrecy?
TATT. Gadso, the heat of my story carried me beyond my discretion, as
the heat of the lady’s passion hurried her beyond her reputation. But I
hope you don’t know whom I mean; for there was a great many ladies
raffled. Pox on’t, now could I bite off my tongue.
SCAN. No, don’t; for then you’ll tell us no more. Come, I’ll recommend
a song to you upon the hint of my two proverbs, and I see one in the next
room that will sing it. [_Goes to the door_.]
TATT. For heaven’s sake, if you do guess, say nothing; Gad, I’m very
unfortunate.
SCAN. Pray sing the first song in the last new play.
SONG.
Set by Mr. John Eccles.
I.
A nymph and a swain to Apollo once prayed,
The swain had been jilted, the nymph been betrayed:
Their intent was to try if his oracle knew
E’er a nymph that was chaste, or a swain that was true.
II.
Apollo was mute, and had like t’have been posed,
But sagely at length he this secret disclosed:
He alone won’t betray in whom none will confide,
And the nymph may be chaste that has never been tried.
SCENE IV.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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