Accordingly they all went to look at the chrysanthemums, amongst which
they talked mere commonplaces for a little while.
Bernard was miserably disappointed. Doris was uncomfortable and
frightened--the shadow of her father’s sin seemed to rest over her,
filling her with shame. She did not know whether Bernard was
prosecuting her father or not, and feared that he might say something
which would betray the wretched secret to Alice. Even if he regretted
the way he shrank from her when hearing of her father’s misappropriation
of his money, or if he wished, as seemed evident, to renew their former
relations, she could not and would not ruin his life, as his mother had
said she would ruin it by marrying him. Poor he was, and shabby. Not a
detail of this escaped her--his worn clothes and baggy trousers touched
her deeply; but at least he bore an unblemished and honourable name.
Was she to smirch it? Was she to bring to him, as his mother had said,
a dowry of shame? No, no. His mother’s words were still ringing in her
ears.
Stung beyond endurance by the remembrance, Doris raised her head and
confronted Bernard proudly.
"Mr. Cameron," she said, "you must see--I mean, do you think that it is
quite right to--accompany us--when----"
"When I am not wanted," he suggested, bitterly.
"I did not say that exactly. But----"
"You meant it." Bernard’s eyes flashed. He, too, was stung now. "I
will say ’Good-bye,’" he said, raising his hat.
The girls bowed, and, turning away, walked quietly out of the great
house, leaving Bernard to return to his seat a crushed and miserable
man.
He thought that it was all over between him and Doris. His mother had
spoken the truth in saying the girl had declared she would never marry
him. He need not have grieved his mother by refusing to prosecute her
father: he need not have lost his home for that. Doris no longer loved
him; she no longer loved him at all. He had lost his money, and he had
lost Doris. That was the worst blow that had ever befallen him; nothing
mattered now, nothing at all: he was in despair. It was far worse to
have met Doris and found her altogether estranged from him than not to
have met her at all.
"She wasn’t like Doris," he said to himself, miserably. "She wasn’t
like my Doris at all. It might have been another girl; it might have
been another girl altogether." The hot tears came into his eyes, and he
buried his face in his hands that others might not see them.
"Oh, don’t, don’t be so unhappy!" said a voice in his ear, suddenly.
"Didn’t you notice that her manner was forced--unnatural?"
"Oh!" Bernard rose, and stood looking wonderingly into Alice Sinclair’s
face. It was full of kindness, and seemed to him, then, one of the
sweetest faces he had ever seen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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