Here was Warner, a man of twenty-four, and of a devout, if somewhat dull
and plodding conscientiousness; and the last eight or nine years of his’
life had been one torment because of the cravings of lust. He had never
committed an act of unchastity--or at least he told Thyrsis that he had
not. But he was never free from the impulse, and he had no conception
of the possibility of being free. His desire was a purely brute
one--untouched by any intellectual or spiritual, or even any sentimental
color. He desired woman, as woman--it mattered not what woman. How low
his impulses took him Thyrsis realized with a shudder from one remark
that he made--that his poverty did not help him to live virtuously, for
about the docks and in the workingmen’s quarters there were women who
would sell themselves for fifty cents a night.
This man’s whole life was determined by that craving; in fact it seemed
to Thyrsis that his God had made the universe with relation to it--a
heaven to reward him if he abstained, and a hell to punish him if he
yielded. It was because of this that he clung to the church, and shrunk
from any dallying with “rationalism”. He disapproved of the theatre,
because it appealed to these cravings; he disapproved of all pictures
and statues of the nude human form, because the sight of them
overmastered him. For the same reason he shrunk from all impassioned
poetry, and from dancing, and even from non-religious music. He was
rigid in his conformance to all the social conventions, because they
served the purpose of saving him and his young women-friends from
temptation; and he looked forward to the completion of a divinity-course
as his goal, because then he would be able to settle down and marry, and
so at last to gratify his desires. He stated this quite baldly, quoting
the authority of St. Paul, that it was “better to marry than to burn.”
This conversation brought Thyrsis to a realization that there was a
great deal in the world that was not found in the poetry of Tennyson
and Longfellow; and so he began to pry into the souls of others of his
fellow-students.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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