“No, not necessarily--” began the other.
“But I haven’t money to live in the city otherwise.”
That was too definite for Channing, and he went off on another tack. He
had been reading “The Higher Cannibalism”, and he could not forgive it.
A boy of Thyrsis’ age had no right to be seething with such bitterness;
there must be some fundamental and terrible cause. He was destroying
himself, he was eating out his heart in this isolation; he was so
wrapped up in his own miseries, his own wrongs--in all the concerns of
his own exaggerated ego!
They were seated beside a little streamlet in the woods. “What you
need is something to get you out of yourself,” the critic was
saying--“something to restore your sanity and balance. It’ll come to you
some day. Perhaps it’ll be a love-affair--you’ll meet some woman who’ll
carry you away. I know the sort you need--they grow in the West--the
great brooding type of woman-soul, that would fold you in her arms and
give you a little peace.”
Thyrsis was silent for a space. “You forget,” he said, in a low voice,
“that I am already married.”
The other shrugged his shoulders. “Such things have happened, even so,”
he said.
Thyrsis had taken his part in the conversation before this, defending
himself and setting forth his point of view. But now he fell silent. The
words had cut him to the quick. It seemed to him an insult and a bitter
humiliation; here, at his home, almost in the presence of his wife! What
was the man’s idea, anyway?
And suddenly he turned upon Channing with the question, “You think that
I’ve married a doll?”
The other was staggered for a moment. “I don’t know what you’ve
married,” he replied.
“No,” said Thyrsis. “Then how can you advise me in such a matter?”
“I see that you’re not happy--” the other began.
“Yes,” said the boy. “But I don’t want any more women.”
There was a pause, while Thyrsis sat pondering, Should he try to explain
to this man? But he shook his head. No, it would be useless to try. “She
is not in your class,” he said.
“How do you mean?” asked the other.
“She has none of your culture, none of your social graces. She can’t
write, and she can’t sing--she can’t do anything that your wife does.”
“I’m afraid,” said Channing, in a low voice, “you don’t take my remarks
in the right spirit.”
“Even suppose that she were not what you call a ‘great woman-soul’,”
persisted Thyrsis--“at least she has starved and suffered for me; and
wouldn’t common loyalty bind me to her?”
“I have tried to do something very difficult,” said the other, after a
silence. “I have tried to talk to you frankly. It is the most thankless
task in the world to tell a man his own faults.”
“I know,” said Thyrsis. “And that’s all right--I’m perfectly willing. I
don’t mind knowing my faults.”
“It is evident that you have resented it,” declared the other.
Thyrsis answered with a laugh, “Don’t you admit of replies to your
criticisms? Suppose I’m pointing out some of your faults--your faults as
a critic?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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