Thus she spoke to herself in the many quiet hours she spent in
Veronica’s little drawing-room, and a sort of dreamy peace and subdued
happiness seemed gradually to descend upon her. She was very sweet
and winning in those days. To Veronica she grew daily dearer and more
precious. And to poor Geoffrey? Ah! it was hard upon him, for all his
humility and unselfishness! And she, silly little soul, said to herself
that she only meant to be gentle and sisterly, to make up to this kind,
generous friend, for her former petulance and roughness. Partly this, at
least. In some measure she began instinctively to turn to him, out of a
sort of reaction from her former bitter experience. He might not be very
clever or original, this Geoffrey Baldwin; he was certainly wanting
in that extraordinary, inexpressible something—sympathy, perfect
congeniality of heart or mind, or both, which from the first had, as if
by magic, drawn and attracted her to Ralph; but at least, he was tried
and true, honest and devoted to the very heart’s core. And, oh! to the
poor little heart, smarting yet, under its sore disappointment—what
attraction, what soothing was there not in the thought that he, at
least, loved her! Loved her with a love which she felt she could never
give to him; and yet, though no coquette, she no longer felt inclined
to discourage him. For, after all, she was a thorough woman. And I am
afraid she was, in some respects, incapable of such a love of Ralph’s
for her; for, through it all, as we have seen, he never doubted, never
for an instant mistrusted her.
Whereas she, naturally enough, had come gradually to lose her trust in
him, to doubt even, sometimes, if indeed he had ever cared for her as
she for him.
And already she was beginning to say to herself, “I loved him once.”
Veronica watched the two, earnestly and anxiously. There was no mystery
about Geoffrey. It was only too evident that more than ever he was heart
and soul devoted to his ward; in his eyes more beautiful than ever, from
the yet remaining traces of her severe illness; her thin white hands,
her pale cheeks, and hair far removed from its former luxuriance.
“Have I not grown ugly, Mr. Baldwin,” she said one day, half in earnest,
half in joke, and greatly from a sort of instinctive wish to test her
power over him. “Look at my hair! It is hardly long enough to twist up
at all, and it used to come down below my waist.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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