“Geoffrey,” she said, “I cannot bear it. All these weeks you have borne
with me—with all my strange fancies and wayward tempers. You have
been very good to me, for truly I have been very trying. You must have
thought me strangely unlike what you fancied me. I am strangely unlike
what I was, sadly changed from my old self, for I used to be gentle and
sweet tempered, Geoffrey. I must tell you the truth, cost what it may,
for otherwise I cannot live beside you. Geoffrey, poor Geoffrey, it
is dreadful for me to say, and dreadful for you to hear. I told you a
falsehood that day—the day I promised to marry you. I said at least you
had now no rival. I told you I no longer loved that other whom I had
loved so intensely. It was no intentional falsehood. I believed
it myself; but for all that it was not true. I did still love him,
Geoffrey, then when I said I did not. I did love him even then, with all
the love of my nature. And, oh, Geoffrey, I love him now. Forgive me,
for I am most miserable —pity me, for I cannot forgive myself.”
There was not the slightest sound. The hand she still held tightly
clasped was not withdrawn, but Geoffrey spoke not a word.
Marion went on. “I will tell you all about it. All at least that you
ought to know. How I found it out I mean. It was a fortnight after we
were married. That day, do you remember, at the Peacock when you thought
I was ill? I—”
“Hush!” said her husband, “you need not tell me. I have no need to hear
what it must cost you much to tell. You saw him, I suppose, saw him, or
heard from him—it does not matter which. There had been some mistake, I
suppose. He was not married as you had been told?”
“Yes,” she said, repeating his very words mechanically, “there had been
a mistake. He was not married.”
“Ah!” muttered Geoffrey. It sounded like a groan.
“I will tell you”—she began again, but he stopped her again.
“No,” he said, “do not tell me. Do not treat me as if I were a judge
and you a culprit at the bar. Heaven knows, I have heard enough. And
God knows, I trust you, Marion, trust you utterly and entirely. Were you
less worthy of my trust this might be easier to bear. I can’t quite see
it yet. I can’t get it plain to myself. But that will come, I suppose.
Only do not ever tell me any more. It need never again be mentioned
between us. I think —I think I should thank you for telling me. It was
right, I suppose, but I can’t quite see it yet. For my part in it all,
for what I did wrong—the persisting in trying to win you, I mean—I ask
you to forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” she exclaimed; “oh, Geoffrey, your asking it crushes me.”
“I do not wish to pain you,” he said, gently but resolutely withdrawing
the hand she still held.
“But you must remember it is rather hard on me—all this. I cannot just
yet get accustomed to it. So if in any way I Fain you, you must forgive
me.”
Then he got up and strolled to the window. It was a beautiful summer
evening—a picture of peace and calm loveliness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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