“It is hard upon me,” he murmured to him-self, “very hard upon me. But,
good God, how she must have suffered! How she must suffer still, tied
to a rough boor like me! That other, I don’t want to know who he is, I
should pity him too, I suppose, but I’m not quite good enough for that;
for I can’t see that his case is as bad as mine. Heaven knows, though he
may be a hundred times my superior in every-thing else he can’t love her
better. And to think —! My darling, how you must have suffered!”
If only Geoffrey could have uttered his thoughts, his generous,
unselfish thoughts aloud, who knows what even then might have been the
result?
But he could not. A strange reserve had fallen upon this naturally open
and outspoken being. Gentle and attentive as ever to Marion, she was yet
utterly changed. He avoided most pointedly the slightest demonstration
of the affection with which his very heart was bursting; not a word of
endearment, not a gesture of fondness did he allow himself. It was what
Marion had been wishing for, and yet it pained her. But gradually she
grew accustomed to it; and slowly but surely began that lamentable
drifting apart so sad to see in two lives which should be as one.
Henceforth she felt free to live yet more entirely in the past and in
herself; for she was no longer fettered by the necessity of maintaining
a semblance of affection. Geoffrey, she fancied, had felt it much
less than she had feared. He would soon be absorbed and happy in his
home-life and country pursuits.
So she did not trouble herself very much about him. “He was not after
all,” she decided, “a man of very deep feeling. His dogs and horses
would soon make up to him for any disappointment he might have
experienced in a wife.”
Yet being a woman, with all a woman’s illogical “contrariness,” the
reflection was not without a certain amount of bitterness.
CHAPTER IV. “AT HOME.”
“The little bird now to salute the morn
Upon the naked branches sets her foot,
The leaves still lying at the mossy root;
And there a silly chirruping cloth keep
As if she fain would sing, yet fain would weep.
Praising fair summer that too soon is gone,
And sad for winter too soon coming on.”
DRAYTON.
“Perhaps the wind
Waits so in winter for the summers dead,
And all sad sounds are nature’s funeral cries,
For what has been and is not?”
THE SPANISH GYPSY.
TO-MORROW then, I suppose, will see us at the Manor Farm,” said Geoffrey
the last evening of their travels.
Marion noticed he did not speak of his dwelling as “home,” and she
looked up quickly, for she fancied there was a slight, a very slight
quiver in his voice. But no, it must have been only fancy. He sat at the
table arranging his fishing book, apparently engrossed in its contents.
“I suppose so,” she replied indifferently.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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