Audrey slackened her pace. She felt a little breathless and giddy. She
would have to pass him quite close, and, of course, if he meant to speak
to her----But no: though he heard her footsteps, and half turned his
head and seemed to listen, he did not move his arms from the gate. He
evidently meant to take no advantage, to let her pass him if she wished
to do so. Audrey could read this determination in his averted face. Most
likely he wished her to think that his abstraction was too great to
allow him to notice her light footfall; he would make it easy for her to
pass him--a man's eyes can only see what they are looking at. But this
time Audrey's prudence counselled her in vain; her soft heart would not
allow her to go past him as a stranger. She stopped and looked at him;
but Cyril did not turn his head.
'Mr. Blake,' she said gently; and then he did move slightly.
'I am not in your way, I hope,' he said rather coldly. 'I did not know
it was so late, or I would have gone back. Please do not let me keep
you, Miss Ross; I am afraid there will be a storm directly.'
'In that case you had better come with me,' she returned, trying to
speak with her usual friendly ease. But his proud, sad look rather
daunted her. How could she leave him and go on her way, when he seemed
so utterly cast down and miserable; and it was all her fault? 'Please do
not shake your head, Mr. Blake. I know you are hurt with me because I
was rather abrupt just now; but I meant nothing at all, only that I was
in a hurry, and----'
'That you did not wish for my company,' he added bitterly.
'Oh, Mr. Blake!'
'You are right--quite right,' he went on, in a tone that pierced
Audrey's heart, it was so hopeless, so full of pain; and now he did
place himself at her side. 'I do not blame you in the least; it was the
truest kindness. I can see that now. It is not your fault that I have
been a fool. Miss Ross, I wished you to pass; I never meant to speak or
to obtrude myself on you, but you stopped of your own accord.'
'I wished to apologise to you for my abruptness. I did not like you to
think me unkind.'
'You are never unkind, you could not be if you tried,' he returned in
the same passionate tone; 'you are only so absolutely true. You saw what
I ought never to have shown you, and you thought it only right to check
me. Yes, I was hurt for a moment, I will allow it. Perhaps in some sort
of sense I am hurt now. I suppose a man may own to being hurt when his
heart is half broken.'
'Please, please do not talk so.'
'I will promise never to talk so again,' he returned with sad humility;
'but I have gone too far to stop now.'
'No, oh no!' trying to check him; but she might as well have tried to
check a river that had broken bonds. For once Cyril determined that he
would be heard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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