Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Lucia (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
Lucia did not get home till three o’clock (for having given up her play
out of kindness to Marcia, she might as well do it thoroughly), but she
was busy writing invitations for her two dinner parties next week by
nine in the morning. Pepino was lunching at his club, where he might
meet the Astronomer Royal, and have a chat about the constellations, but
he was to ring her up about a quarter past two and ascertain if she had
made any engagement for him during the afternoon. The idea of this
somehow occupied her brain as she filled up the cards of invitation in
her small exquisite handwriting. There was a telephone in her dining
room, and she began to visualize to herself Pepino’s ringing her up,
while she and the two or three friends who were lunching with her would
be still at table. It would be at the end of lunch: they would be
drinking their coffee, which she always made herself in a glass machine
with a spirit-lamp which, when it appeared to be on the point of
exploding, indicated that coffee was ready. The servants would have
left the room, and she would go to the telephone herself.... She would
hear Pepino’s voice, but nobody else would. They would not know who was
at the other end, and she might easily pretend that it was not Pepino,
but.... She would give a gabbling answer, audible to her guests, but she
could divert her mouth a little away so that Pepino could not make
anything out of it, and then hang up the receiver again.... Pepino no
doubt would think he had got hold of the wrong number, and presently
call her again, and she would then tell him anything there was to
communicate. As she scribbled away, the idea took shape and substance:
there was an attraction about it, it smiled on her.
She came to the end of her dinner-invitations grouped round the
cinema-star and the fluting prizefighter, and she considered whom to ask
to meet Herbert Alton on Sunday. He was working hard, he had told her,
to finish his little gallery of caricatures with which he annually
regaled London, and which was to open in a fortnight. He was a licensed
satirist, and all London always flocked to his show to observe with glee
what he made of them all, and what witty and pungent little remarks he
affixed to their monstrous effigies. It was a distinct _cachet_, too, to
be caricatured by him, a sign that you attracted attention and were a
notable figure. He might (in fact, he always did) make you a perfect
guy, and his captions invariably made fun of something characteristic,
but it gave you publicity. She wondered whether he would take a
commission: she wondered whether he might be induced to do a caricature
of Pepino or herself or of them both, at a handsome price, with the
proviso that it was to be on view at his exhibition. That could probably
be ascertained, and then she might approach the subject on Sunday.
Anyhow, she would ask one or two pleasant people to meet him, and hope
for the best.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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