Lucifer: A Theosophical Magazine. Volume I. September 1887-February 1888.Various
Religion
Lucifer: A Theosophical Magazine. Volume I. September 1887-February 1888.
Various
Theosophy -- Periodicals
Nothing in Sir Selwyn’s present state, no circumstance of his past
history which was known to Gaston (who had rarely been apart from
him since boyhood), excused or explained in any degree the
melancholy which clouded his existence. His great fortune placed him
beyond suspicion or suggestion of pecuniary embarrassment. All the
surroundings of his home were well calculated to administer to the
refined pleasures of a man widely known as an amateur of books and
art. No entanglement of the affections could be supposed seriously
to trouble the peace of one who had passed his meridian, and who,
moreover, cherished still the memory of the wife he had long lost.
He had friendships which, while they attested his worth, would have
been sufficient in themselves to endear most men to life. Yet for
months he had worn the air of a man to whom life was fast becoming
an unendurable burden.
His own skill and experience failing to open to Gaston any method of
coping with a disease whose hidden source and origin he could not
divine, he was on the point of writing to a leading London physician
of his acquaintance, when a circumstance occurred which saved him
from the necessity of this step.
Sir Selwyn was alone in his room one evening when Gaston, who was
reading in a room immediately beneath, heard sounds overhead which
at once sent him upstairs to learn the cause. He had fancied that
his father was speaking in a tone of troubled remonstrance to some
unwelcome visitor, though he felt persuaded that no one, unless a
servant of the house, could be with him at that hour. Hastening to
his father’s room, his footsteps were arrested on the threshold by
the spectacle which the half-opened door revealed to him. Sir Selwyn
sat motionless and rigid in his chair; his face was colourless, and
all the features stiff, while the eyes, dilated and staring, seemed,
though they were fixed on space, to hold within their vision some
object not perceptible to Gaston. This was the more remarkable that
Gaston stood directly in his father’s line of sight, though it was
certain that Sir Selwyn neither looked at him nor saw him. In a
word, it was the gaze of a man who sees, or believes that he sees,
an apparition.
Gaston took a step forward; the sound fell on the baronet’s ear and
broke the spell which held him.
His first look was one of inexpressible shame, succeeded immediately
by one of indescribable relief. If detection were painful, as it
clearly was, it appeared as though the pain were almost lost in the
necessity now forced upon him of disclosing the secret of his
misery. Gaston was at his father’s side in a moment.
“What is it, father?” he cried. “What is it? You have seen
something. Tell me what it is.”
Sir Selwyn, in whose expression exhaustion and pain were mingled,
fixed his eyes for a while on his son’s face before he replied:
“If I should tell you, Gaston, you would not believe it. I do not
believe it myself. And yet I see it, and know that it is there.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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