AS Sir Paget had suggested, we—we three Rillington men and Aunt
Bertha—spent the Twelve Days, the ever-famous Twelve Days before
the war, at Cragsfoot. On the public side of that period I need say
nothing—or only just one thing. If we differed at all from the public
at large in our feelings, it was in one point only. For us, under Sir
Paget’s lead, it was less a time of hope, fear, and suspense than
of mere waiting. We other three took his word for what was going to
happen; his certainty became ours—though, as I believe (it is a matter
of belief only, for he never told me what he told Waldo on that walk
of theirs on the afternoon of the wedding day—which was not the day of
a wedding), his certainty was based not so much on actual information
as on a sort of instinct which long and intimate familiarity with
international affairs had given him. But, whatever was his rock of
conviction, it never shook. Even Waldo did not question it. He accepted
it—with all its implications, public and private.
Yes, and private. There his acceptance was not only absolute; it was
final and—a thing which I found it difficult to understand—it was
absolutely silent. He never referred to his project of pursuit—and of
rescue, or revenge, or whatever else it had been going to be. He never
mentioned Lucinda’s name; we were at pains never to pronounce it in
his presence. It was extraordinary self-control on the part of a man
whom self-control could, on occasion, utterly forsake. So many people
are not proof against gossiping even about their own fallen idols,
though it would be generally admitted that silence is more gracious;
pedestal-makers should be sure that they build on a sound foundation.
However, Waldo’s silence was not due to delicacy or to a recognition
of his own mistake; that, at least, was not how I explained it. He
recognized the result of his own decision. The event that was to
raise for all the civilized world a wall of division between past and
future—whom has it not touched as human being and as citizen?—erected a
barrier between Lucinda and himself, which no deed could pass, which no
word need describe. Only memory could essay to wing over it a blind and
baffled flight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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