“I’ve told you that in detail because it—what shall I say?—sets the
scene. I can only tell you generally how things developed. At first I
was very happy, and so, I suppose, very gay and cheerful. I seemed,
in the end, to have had a great escape and to have got into a safe
harbor. My feeling of guiltiness wore off under their kindness. I could
see that Waldo liked and admired me—and I’ve never been indifferent
to admiration or unaffected by it. Aunt Bertha petted me, and Sir
Paget made much of me too, when he came back. Mother, of course, was
all smiles—and enthusiastic about the food! Then, after two or three
days, Waldo told me that he had an appointment to ride with Nina,
and asked me to come too. I laughed and said I wouldn’t spoil their
_tête-à-tête_. He looked put out, but didn’t press me. The same thing
happened again, and he insisted on my coming; otherwise he wouldn’t
go himself. So we three began to ride, or to walk, together. And Nina
Frost began to fight me!
“She had every right and every excuse. That girl, even then, young as
she was, had not only made a hero of Waldo—that would have been a thing
that one often sees—but she adored him in a jealous, fierce way that
I—well, it’s not mine; I hardly understand it. But I could see it in
her; she seemed to take little pains to hide it from me, though she did
try to hide it from Aunt Bertha. And Waldo—I don’t know to this day
how much reason he had given her for hoping, but it was evident that
they had seen a great deal of one another since my first visit, and
that her homage wasn’t disagreeable to him. You must remember that I
probably don’t do justice to her attractions! Well, she made me angry.
She assumed from the first that I meant to catch Waldo; I was a female
fortune-hunter! She rubbed in our poverty in her old way. And she threw
out hints about Arsenio—quite at random, but I’m not sure I always
managed to look unembarrassed. Waldo would frown at her then, and try
to shut her up; but I caught him looking oddly at me once or twice. I
had my secret to keep; I took the obvious way of doing it; I began to
flirt with Waldo myself. That was my line of defense, Julius. I’ve not
spared my morals in what I’ve told you, and I’m not pretending to you
that I behaved particularly nicely at Cragsfoot. I had no business to
flirt with Waldo, you’ll say, not even in self-defense? So be it. But
since I make these concessions—_en revanche_ I won’t spare my modesty
either; I had more success than I desired, or at all events deserved.
Waldo took fire!”
She had distinctly recollected me for a moment; she had pronounced my
name! Now she gave me one of her smiles—never too numerous. “I don’t
know how much you trust me, Julius, but I really am trying to tell the
truth.”
“A difficult and thankless task, Lucinda?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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