Ludicrous Aspects Of Christianity: A Response To The Challenge Of The Bishop Of ManchesterHolyoake, Austin
Religion
Ludicrous Aspects Of Christianity: A Response To The Challenge Of The Bishop Of Manchester
Holyoake, Austin
Free thought; Philosophy and religion
When he left Galilee, and came into Judæa, he resolved to go to
Jerusalem; and when he was come to the Mount of Olives, he sent two
of his disciples to a village on a very questionable errand. It was to
perform no less an act than the appropriation of a donkey and her colt.
He told them that, if any one said aught unto them, they were to say,
"The Lord hath need of them." That kind of answer would scarcely be
deemed satisfactory in these days, especially to a policeman. He would
very likely reply, If the Lord hath need of the ass, the magistrate
hath need of thee; and if the instigator of the deed were not the actual
thief, he would be charged as an accessory before the fact, and would
be provided with board and lodging at the expense of the county for
at least twelve months. This was done that another prophecy might be
fulfilled, which said, "Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy king
cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of
an ass." But this prophet must have been an ass, or he would have known
that even the Son of man would find it difficult to sit upon two asses
of such unequal size at the same time. Apart from the absurdity of the
story, it is an example of very loose notions indeed of the rights of
property, which, if stated of Mahomet, of Joseph Smith the Mormon, or
any other founder of a religious sect, would be quoted as a proof of his
obliquity of moral vision. After this successful exploit of taking unto
himself other people's goods, Jesus became quite daring; and when he got
to Jerusalem he went into the temple of God, where he found a number of
people carrying on their usual business. He had no more right there than
they had--in fact, not so much, as he was a stranger to the city. But,
notwithstanding this, he got a rope, and thrashed every one out of
the place, upsetting the tables and chairs, and creating such a
consternation as only a Bedlamite broken loose would be likely to
produce. Though this was immediately after the appropriation of the two
donkeys, upon which he had actually ridden to the temple, he called all
the tradespeople dishonest, and accused them of having turned the place
into a den of thieves. Whatever it might have been before he came,
certainly one would think the designation not inappropriate after the
arrival of himself and his disciples. He was not arrested on the spot
for this act of assault and battery; but what should we think of the
City Police Commissioner if he neglected to order into custody any mad
enthusiast who might so conduct himself on the Stock Exchange? But he
would not, and the enthusiast's vagaries and his visit to the police
cell would be a very little time apart. It would be no use his alleging
that he was about his Father's business, and that he was fulfilling
prophecy--that would only aggravate the offence. He would be told that
if his father did not take better care of him, the county asylum would;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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