Ludicrous Aspects Of Christianity: A Response To The Challenge Of The Bishop Of ManchesterHolyoake, Austin
Religion
Ludicrous Aspects Of Christianity: A Response To The Challenge Of The Bishop Of Manchester
Holyoake, Austin
Free thought; Philosophy and religion
The foregoing will certainly be declared "blasphemous" by all true
believers, and will no doubt be pronounced a "caricature" of Jesus by
even Unitarians. But the fault does not lie with us--it is in the text,
which we did not make. We are not responsible for the representation,
for we have scrupulously followed the inspired delineations of the
Evangelists. Let us briefly sum up this biography.
Jesus was the Son of God, and not the son of his mother's husband, and
his mother remained a virgin notwithstanding his conception and birth,
although she strangely offered the usual sacrifice when the days of her
purification were accomplished.
He was descended from the royal line of David, that is, Joseph the
husband of his mother was so descended; but then Joseph was not his
father at all.
The miraculous boy was to fulfil many prophecies; but although he often
purposely acted in order to fulfil them, several given as illustrations
are singularly wide of the mark.
At twelve years of age he was a match for learned doctors in
disputation, and could pertly rebuke his mother for inquiring where he
had been for three days and three nights.
He was baptised at thirty by John, who taught him rudeness of manners;
and though a dove descended direct from heaven, and alighted on his
head, he was immediately taken by the spirit into very dangerous places,
was kept a remarkably long time without food, and was very strangely
tempted by the Devil in person.
He became a great talker, dealt largely in mystical language, and
gathered followers from the poorest, most ignorant, and most credulous
of his countrymen.
He cured all sorts of diseases and afflictions, though there is no
evidence that he ever underwent a medical training.
He worked miracles, as became an Eastern founder of a sect, but his
achievements scarcely rank as high as the tricks of an Indian juggler.
He was uneducated, and never, so far as the record goes, wrote a line
in his life; but as a preacher he was famous, and always succeeded
in making his hearers marvel at his strange doctrines--doctrines so
contradictory that no sane man can follow them.
He was vituperative in his language, austere in his manners, undutiful
and repelling to his mother.
He appropriated other persons' property, and immediately after violently
assaulted a large number of men, whom he charged with being dishonest.
When asked questions touching vital points of his own doctrines, he
usually gave evasive answers.
He promised his disciples all sorts of wonderful powers if they would
believe in him, and he promised also to come in a cloud with great glory
before that generation passed away; but having risen from the grave, and
ascended into heaven, he has not returned in a cloud with glory up to
the time of our going to press.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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