_Spurrell._ Oh, rabbits be blowed! (_To_ TANRAKE.) I wanted you to see that notice they put in of Andromeda and me, with my photo and all; it said she was the best bull-bitch they'd seen for many a day, and fully deserved her first prize. _Tanrake._ She's a rare good bitch, and no mistake. But what made you call her such an outlandish name? _Spurrell._ Well, I _was_ going to call her Sal; but a chap at the College thought the other would look more stylish if I ever meant to exhibit her. Andromeda was one of them Roman goddesses, you know. _Tanrake._ Oh, I knew _that_ right enough. Come and have a drink before you start--just for luck--not that you want _that_. _Spurrell._ I'm lucky enough in most things, Tom; in everything except love. I told you about that girl, you know--Emma--and my being as good as engaged to her, and then, all of a sudden, she went off abroad, and I've never seen or had a line from her since. Can't call _that_ luck, you know. Well, I won't say no to a glass of something. [_They disappear into the refreshment room._ _The_ Countess of CANTIRE _enters with her daughter_, Lady MAISIE MULL. _Lady Cantire_ (_to_ Footman). Get a compartment for us, and two foot-warmers, and a second-class as near ours as you can for Phillipson; then come back here. Stay, I'd better give you Phillipson's ticket. (_The_ Footman _disappears in the crowd_.) Now we must get something to read on the journey. (_To_ Clerk.) I want a book of some sort--no rubbish, mind; something serious and improving, and _not_ a work of fiction. _Clerk._ Exactly so, ma'am. Let me see. Ah, here's _Alone with the 'Airy Ainoo_. How would you like that? _Lady Cantire_ (_with decision_). I should not like it at all. _Clerk._ I quite understand. Well, I can give you _Three 'Undred Ways of Dressing the Cold Mutton_--useful little book for a family, redooced to one and ninepence. _Lady Cantire._ Thank you. I think I will wait till I am reduced to one and ninepence. _Clerk._ Precisely. What do you say to _Seven 'Undred Side-splitters for Sixpence_? 'Ighly yumerous, I assure you. _Lady Cantire._ Are these times to split our sides, with so many serious social problems pressing for solution? You are presumably not without intelligence; do you never reflect upon the responsibility you incur in assisting to circulate trivial and frivolous trash of this sort? _Clerk_ (_dubiously_). Well, I can't say as I do, particular, ma'am. I'm paid to sell the books--I don't _select_ 'em. _Lady Cantire._ That is _no_ excuse for you--you ought to exercise some discrimination on your own account, instead of pressing people to buy what can do them no possible good. You can give me a _Society Snippets_. _Lady Maisie._ Mamma! A penny paper that says such rude things about the Royal Family!