_Spurrell_ (_to himself, uncomfortably conscious of the expectant_ THOMAS _in his rear_). Must write _something_ to this beggar, I suppose; it'll keep him quiet. (_To_ Mrs. BROOKE-CHATTERIS.) I--I just want to write a line or two. Could you oblige me with a lead pencil? _Mrs. Chatteris._ You are really going to write! At a dinner-party, of all places! Now _how_ delightfully original and unconventional of you! I promise not to interrupt till the inspiration is over. Only, really, I'm afraid I don't carry lead pencils about with me--so bad for one's frocks, you know! _Thomas_ (_in his ear_). I can lend you a pencil, sir, if you require one. [_He provides him with a very minute stump._ _Spurrell_ (_reading what he has written on the back of_ UNDERSHELL'S _missive_). "Will be in my room (Verney Chamber) as soon after ten as possible. "J. SPURRELL." (_He passes the paper to_ THOMAS _surreptitiously_.) There, take him that. [THOMAS _retires_. _Archie_ (_to himself_.) The calm cheek of these writin' chaps! I saw him takin' notes under the table! Lady Rhoda ought to know the sort of fellow he is--and she shall! (_To_ Lady RHODA, _in an aggrieved undertone_.) I should advise you to be jolly careful what you say to your other neighbour; he's takin' it all down. I just caught him writin'. He'll be bringing out a satire, or whatever he calls it, on us all by and bye--you see if he won't! _Lady Rhoda._ What an ill-natured boy you are! Just because _he_ can write, and you _can't_. And I don't believe he's doing anythin' of the sort. I'll ask him--_I_ don't care! (_Aloud, to_ SPURRELL.) I say, I know I'm awfully inquisitive--but I do want to know so--you've just been writin' notes or somethin', haven't you? Mr. Bearpark declares you're goin' to take them all off here--you're not really, _are_ you? _Spurrell_ (_to himself_). That sulky young chap has spotted it! (_Aloud, stammering._) I--take everything off? _Here!_ I--I assure you I should never even _think_ of doing anything so indelicate! _Lady Rhoda._ I was sure that was what you'd say! But still (_with reviving uneasiness_), I suppose you _have_ made use of things that happened just to fit your purpose, haven't you? _Spurrell_ (_penitently_). All I can say is, that--if I have--you won't catch me doing it _again_! And other people's things _don't_ fit. I'd much rather have my own. _Lady Rhoda_ (_relieved_). Of course! But I'm glad you told me. (_To_ ARCHIE, _in an undertone_.) I _asked_ him--and, as usual, you were utterly wrong. So you'll please not to be a pig! _Archie_ (_jealously_). And you're goin' to go on talkin' to him all through dinner? Pleasant for me--when I took you down! _Lady Rhoda._ You want to be taken down yourself, I think. And I mean to talk to him if I choose. You can talk to Lady Culverin--she likes boys! (_Turning to_ SPURRELL.) I was goin' to ask you--ought a schipperke to have meat? Mine won't touch puppy biscuits.