Humorous stories; Washington (State) -- Fiction; Western stories
"Yes, he's certainly beautiful," she assented. "He's as handsome as a
Greek goddess." Thus did the woman ambiguously praise that famous screen
star, J. Harold Armytage. "And the money he makes! His salary is one of
them you see compared with the President's so as to make the latter seem
a mere trifle. That's a funny thing. I bet at least eighteen million
grown people in this country never did know how much they was paying
their president till they saw it quoted beside some movie star's salary
in a piece that tells how he's getting about four times what we pay the
man in the White House. Ain't it a great business, though! Here's this
horrible male beauty that would have to be mighty careful to escape
extermination if he was anything but an actor. Being that, however, he
not only eludes the vengeance of a sickened populace, but he can come
out and be raw about it. Here, let me show you."
She turned to the page where J. Harold Armytage began to print a choice
few of the letters he daily received from admirers of the reputedly
frailer sex. She now read me one of these with lamentable efforts of
voice to satirize its wooing note: "My darling! I saw that dear face of
yours again to-night in All For Love! So noble and manly you were in the
sawmill scene where first you turn upon the scoundrelly millionaire
father of the girl you love, then save him from the dynamite bomb of the
strikers at the risk of your own. Oh, my dearest! Something tells me your
heart is as pure and sweet as your acting, that your dear face could not
mask an evil thought. Oh, my man of all the world! If only you and I
together might--"
It seemed enough. Ma Pettengill thought so too. The others were not
unlike it. The woman then read me a few of the replies of J. Harold
Armytage to his unknown worshippers. The famous star was invariably
modest and dignified in these. Tactfully, as a gentleman must in any
magazine of wide circulation, he deprecated the worship of these adoring
ones and kindly sought to persuade them that he was but a man--not a god,
even if he did chance to receive one of the largest salaries in the
business. The rogue! No god--with the glorious lines of his face there
on the cover to controvert this awkward disclaimer! His beauty flaunted
to famished hearts, what avail to protest weakly that they should put
away his image or even to hint, as now and again he was stern enough to
do, that their frankness bordered on the unmaidenly?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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