Meanwhile Lucy roused herself with a stronger desire to be really useful
than she had felt for years. Mrs. Lesly had gone to sit with her two
children, so that she required nothing from her. She felt Mabel could
not more effectually have forgiven her than by allowing her to assist
in her duties, for it prevented her feeling the remorse of the evening
before. She ran down stairs with cups and waiters from the sick room,
which, if allowed to accumulate, give such real discomfort to the
sufferer, and even busied herself in helping Betsy in the kitchen, spite
of the sulkiness with which her services were accepted.
But idle habits are not easily thrown aside with the distaste for them;
and, as the day wore on, she began to feel so fatigued that she could
not think how Mabel managed to do everything she did on ordinary
days--when, spite of her desire to please her, she felt her strength
fail in a few hours.
"But I have not been brought up like Mabel," she thought, too willing to
throw the blame on others, if by so doing she at all removed it from
herself. "How can she ever get through it," she said to herself, eying
disconsolately the large basket of clean linen, caps, and frills, which
Betsy had just laid down before her, saying that Miss Lesly had said
she would be kind enough to sort them.
She forced herself, however, to attempt it with many a sigh over its
difficulties. She had scarcely finished her task, when she saw Clair
coming up to the house, and, feeling a better conscience from her
exertions, for her spirits were easily elated, she went down stairs to
meet him.
When she entered the sitting-room, where, not venturing to knock or
ring, he had already seated himself, she found him with his head buried
in his hands, which rested on the table before him. He looked up as she
entered, and a momentary shudder passed over him, which she could not
help perceiving. His face was deadly pale, and his features drawn
together, and bearing the traces of deeper thought than that in which he
usually indulged. He had indeed done many things more careless, and ten
times as wrong, but the consequences had never followed so rapidly nor
been so heart-rending.
"Oh, you have suffered," exclaimed Lucy, "and what a night I have
passed!"
"If you can see Miss Lesly," returned Clair, scarcely heeding her
observation, "ask her, in mercy, to see me for a few minutes."
His first thoughts are of Mabel, thought Lucy, with ready jealousy, not
one kind word for me.
"Will you?" said he, seeing her hesitate, "will you ask her to see me?
What does she say? How does she bear it? Does she reproach me?"
"What question shall I answer first?" said Lucy, with a little of her
returning levity.
Clair bit his lip, and looked at her with surprise, but Lucy quickly
recovering herself, said quietly,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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