"Thank you," replied his uncle, "I feel that the late unhappy accident
has much changed you; and what you now say convinces me that the change
is one which, however it may sadden you, cannot be regretted."
"I hope not," replied Clair, in the same tone of depression; "can you
understand what I mean, when I say that I feel, that, though I had no
intention the other evening beyond causing a momentary pain, which, in a
beautiful girl I thought charming, I yet feel that I have been so
thoughtless of the comfort of others, during my past life, that I have
deserved to be the agent of such a misfortune, in retribution, as it
were, for all that has before gone unpunished. Little Amy's sweet voice
rings in my ear wherever I go--such as it was when I first saw her, when
she looked up from the wild wreath she was twining, to give some kind
word to the laborers as they passed her, the morning after my coming
here. Her simple questions return to my memory, and her purity and
innocence have made a deeper impression on my mind, by the sad reverse
which has followed my acquaintance with her family--I cannot help
thinking what an interesting young woman she might have been, through
the careful training of such a sister, who has planted in her mind,
young as she is, her own childlike tenets of religion. When I reverse
the picture, I see her growing up a weak unhappy cripple, perhaps,
sinking under accumulated disease, the victim of an early grave. Can you
wonder that I am changed, uncle, and that I now find the follies and
amusements, in which I have too often sought forgetfulness of the
weakness of my own heart, now utterly repulsive to me? When I see Mabel
Lesly forgiving without reserve, and enduring without complaint, sorrow
which would have found me in a very different temper, can you doubt,
dear uncle, that, contemplating such rare and beautiful virtues, I have
been led to seek the cause, and to find out on what basis they are
founded; and, while raising my thoughts to the source and spring of
every true virtue, and pouring its healing waters on my soul, must I not
shudder to discover there, nothing but pollution, and feel depressed and
sad, with the sense of what I am, and what I have been.
"Yet do not think this dejection is attended with anything like despair;
no one, who had conversed with your sweet friend, would long retain such
a feeling. A few words, indeed, from her, while they convinced me of the
aimless existence I have been rather enduring, than living, gave me an
inspiring principle which spoke of better things. You may think I am
suddenly turned into an imaginary, but you can scarcely tell how deep an
impression this late accident has left upon me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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