Mars (Planet) -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories; Trials -- Fiction
Rhinklav'n was waiting, his nose-flaps drawn over his nostrils to keep
the cold morning air from cutting into his lungs. "I am pleased that
you come," he said. "The Machine is fully assembled for your problem."
He pointed down toward the Machine, a vast cluster of separate stages
connected by rods. "On the far right, in that small building, is the
power source of the Machine, a mercury-turbine engine. We can't spare
the water to make steam, you know. The first stage contains the Martian
actuarial tables, the second has the actuarial system for determining
the probable life-spans of you two Earthlings. That's without taking
into consideration the probability that you two will be executed as a
result of the judgement of the Machine."
Lieutenant Kim nodded. "Most ingenious. But I'm afraid that there's a
factor that you've omitted."
"We've made no factual error, Lieutenant," Rhinklav'n insisted. "The
value of the sage Klaggchallak is represented there--" he pointed to
the fourth stage, "and your social value to the people of Mars is here
represented." Rhinklav'n waved one mitten-like hand toward the fifth
stage. "If you'll examine that stage, you'll observe that your value is
negative: the shaft representing it revolves in a direction opposite to
that of the others. Yes, you'll surely be executed."
Captain Barnaby nodded, as though the reiteration of the probability
of his early demise troubled him less than the philosophical question
he'd stumbled across. "Still, as my subordinate officer has said,
there's a factor which you seem to have omitted. In the terminology of
terrestrial psychometering, this quantity is called--what did you say
it was, Lieutenant Kim?"
"The 'finagle factor,' sir."
"Really?" Rhinklav'n asked, the light of scientific inquiry in his
eyes. "I thought I'd taken all the variables of Earthling physiology
and psychology into consideration when I set up the plans for the
trial. What are the mathematics of this 'finagle factor'?"
* * * * *
Captain Barnaby put one foot up on a connecting shaft, as though he
were in the Denver Dive, discussing the relative merits of two video
dancers. "As you've doubtless noticed in your extensive study of the
Terrestrial mind, Sir Honored First Technician of the Machine, we of
Earth place almost equal value on a man's intelligence and on his
financial standing as criteria of his worth."
"Yes," Rhinklav'n mused, "I noticed your preoccupation with both
intelligence (a minor mental quality, by the way; far inferior to
spiritual insight or time-sense) and with the individual's possession
of Western Credits."
"As I said," Captain Barnaby continued, "there exists a precise
formula, developed by the...."
"By the Noyoudont Dentifrice Laboratories," Kim supplied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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