Mad: A Story of Dust and AshesFenn, George Manville
General
Mad: A Story of Dust and Ashes
Fenn, George Manville
Fiction
"Stark mad! Yes, I must have been," he muttered; "and yet no, why was I
to crush down my unselfish love?" And then he stopped short to examine
himself as to whether his love had really been unselfish. But he passed
on again unsatisfied, lost in abstracting thoughts, heedless of being
jostled here, pushed there, a walking ensample in his short walk of what
he was in his longer journey of life, a man whom everyone would expect
to give place, while he full readily made way. Now he was shouted at by
a cabman as he crossed the road, then dragged back by a crossing-sweeper
as he was about to step in front of an omnibus. But he looked elate,
and thoughts of a brighter future rose before his mind as something
seemed to whisper that all would yet be well; and as brighter thoughts
came lighting in upon his heart's dark places, he saw old Matt well, and
finding the entry that should restore him to ease and comfort; his wife
and Lucy happy and smiling upon him; and then his head was lifted, his
form grew more erect, his nerves and muscles became terse, and, swinging
his arms, he strode forward till, turning down a side-street, he set off
and ran--ran hard to the bottom, in the lightness of spirit that had
come over him. He had no object in view, no reason for hastening, and
the act seemed one of folly in a man of his years; but he felt the
desire come upon him, and he ran, inflating his chest with the free air;
and perhaps there have been times when, moved by similar impulses, men
of the present day have felt, if they have not acted, the same as
Septimus Hardon.
On again once more, this time to come in contact with a baker, whom he
swung round basket and all, and when sworn at he apologised so
cheerfully, and with such an aspect of genuine contrition, that the
baker closed his voluble harangue with "Well, don't do it again, that's
all." And perhaps, after all, the acts of Septimus Hardon were not of
so very insane a character. True, they seemed strange for a man who had
just come from a bed of sickness, and whose own affairs were in a most
unsatisfactory state; but may there not have been something reactive
after the oppression of much sorrow, the elasticity of life asserting
itself? Be it what it may, certain it is that Septimus Hardon, aged
fifty, acted as has been described, though it seemed strange conduct in
a man who had suffered as he had.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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