We lie bound and cannot escape. We
listen to what is said about us, the soft consoling of nature, the
voices of the comforters. Great heavenly creatures come and sit around
us, and talk together of the recovery to come; but meanwhile without a
pause the heart quivers and bleeds, the cruel grief tears us without
intermission. “Ah me, alas, pain, ever, forever!”
If ever human soul had occasion for such a consciousness it was this
woman, cut off in a moment from all she loved best--from her children,
from her home, from life itself and honor, and all that makes life dear.
Her good name, the last possession which, shipwrecked in every other,
the soul in ruin and dismay may still derive some miserable satisfaction
from, had to be yielded too. A faint smile came upon her face, the
profoundest expression of suffering, when this thought, like another
laceration, separated itself from the crowd. A little more or less, was
that not a thing to be smiled at? What could it matter? All that could
be done to her was done; her spiritual tormentors had no longer the
power to give her another sensation; she had exhausted all their
tortures. Her good name, and that even in the knowledge of her children!
She smiled. Evil had done its worst. She was henceforward superior to
any torture, as knowing all that pain could do.
There are some minds to which death is not a thought which is possible,
or a way of escape which ever suggests itself. Hamlet, in his musings,
in the sickness of his great soul, passes it indeed in review, but
rejects it as an unworthy and ineffectual expedient. And it is seldom
that a worthy human creature, when not at the outside verge of life, can
afford to die. There is always something to do which keeps every such
possibility in the background. To this thought after a time Mrs.
Trevanion came round. She had a great deal to do; she had still a
duty--a responsibility--was it perhaps a possibility, in life? There
existed for her still one bond, a bond partially severed for long,
apparently dropped out of her existence, yet never forgotten. The brief
dialogue which she had held with Jane had betrayed the condition of her
thoughts in respect to this one relationship which was left to her, as
it betrayed also the judgment of Jane on the subject. Both of these
women knew in their hearts that the young man who was now to be the only
interest of their lives had little in him which corresponded with any
ideal. He had not been kind, he had not been true; he thought of nothing
but himself, and yet he was all that now remained to make, to the woman
upon whom his folly had brought so many and terrible losses, the
possibility of a new life. When she saw the cold glimmer of the dawn,
and heard the beginnings of that sound of London, which stretches so far
round the centre on every side, Mrs. Trevanion awoke again to the living
problem which now was to occupy her wholly. She had been guilty towards
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