But there are people with whom it is impossible to associate shame. Even
if shame should be all but proved against them, it will not hold. When
he thought an evil thought of Madam--nay, when that thought had but a
thoroughfare through his mind against his will, the man felt his cheek
redden and his soul faint. And here, too, were the storm-clouds of that
catastrophe which was past, rolling up again, full of flame and wrath.
They had all been silent then, awestricken, anxious to hush up and pass
over, and let the mystery remain. But now this was no longer possible. A
bewildering sense of confusion, of a darkness through which he could not
make his way, of strange coincidences, strange contradictions, was in
John Trevanion’s mind. He was afraid to enter upon this maze, not
knowing to what conclusion it might lead him. And yet now it must be
done.
Only a very short time after another knock came to his door, and
Rosalind entered, with an atmosphere about her of urgency and
excitement. She said, without any preface:
“Uncle John, I have come to tell you what I have made up my mind to do.
Do you remember that in two days I shall be of age, and my own mistress?
In two days!”
“My dear,” he said, “I hope you have not been under so hard a taskmaster
as to make you impatient to be free.”
“Yes,” said Rosalind. “Oh, not a hard taskmaster; but life has been
hard, Uncle John! As soon as I am my own mistress I am going, Amy and I,
to--you know. I cannot rest here any longer. Amy will be safe; she can
have my money. But this cannot go on any longer. If we should starve, we
must find my mother. I know you will say she is not my mother. And who
else, then? She is all the mother I have ever known. And I have left her
these two years under a stain which she ought not to bear, and in misery
which she ought not to bear. Was it ever heard of before that a mother
should be banished from her children? I was too young to understand it
all at first; and I had no habit of acting for myself; and perhaps you
would have been right to stop me; but now--”
“Certainly I should have stopped you. But, Rosalind, I have come myself
to a similar resolution,” he said. “It must all be cleared up. But not
by you, my dear, not by you. If there is anything to discover that is to
her shame--”
“There is nothing, Uncle John.”
“My dear, you don’t know how mysterious human nature is. There are fine
and noble creatures such as she is--as she is! don’t think I deny it,
Rosalind--who may have yet a spot, a stain, which a man like me may see
and grieve for and forgive, but you--”
“Oh, Uncle John, say that a woman like me may wash away with tears, if
you like, but that should never, never be betrayed to the eyes of a
man!”
He took her into his arms, weeping as she was, and he not far from it.
“Rosalind, perhaps yours is the truest way; but yet, as common people
think, and according to the way of the world--”
“Which is neither your way nor mine,” cried the girl.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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