Mademoiselle de Maupin, Volume 1 (of 2)Gautier, Théophile
General
Mademoiselle de Maupin, Volume 1 (of 2)
Gautier, Théophile
French fiction -- Translations into English
Do not say that, Rosette, do not think it.--What architect
would build a stairway that led nowhere? Why imagine that
the placid Architect of the world was stupider and less
far-sighted than an ordinary architect? God makes no
mistakes and forgets nothing. It is incredible that He
should have amused Himself by playing a trick upon you
and shutting you up in a long stone tunnel without exit
or opening. Why should you suppose that He would haggle
with such poor ants as we are over our paltry momentary
happiness and the imperceptible grain of millet that falls
to each of us in this immeasurable universe?--In order to
do that He must be as savage as a tiger or a judge; and if
we were so obnoxious to Him, He would simply have to bid
a comet turn aside a little from its path and annihilate
us all with a hair of its tail. How the devil can you
think that God diverts Himself by spitting us all on a
gold pin as the Emperor Domitian did with flies?--God
isn't a concierge or a church-warden, and although He is
old, He is not yet in His dotage. All such petty malice
is beneath Him and He is not foolish enough to show off
His smartness to us and play tricks on us.--Courage,
Rosette, courage! If you are out of breath, stop a bit and
take breath and then continue your upward course; perhaps
you have only a score more steps to climb to reach the
embrasure from which you will see your happiness.
ROSETTE.
Never! oh never! and if I reach the top of the tower, it
will only be to hurl myself from it.
THÉODORE.
Banish these gloomy thoughts that flutter about you like
bats, and cast the opaque shadow of their wings on your
fair brow, my poor afflicted one. If you want me to love
you, be happy, and do not weep. (_He draws her gently to
his side and kisses her on the eyes_).
ROSETTE.
What a misfortune for me that I ever knew you! and yet, if
I could live my life over, I would still prefer to have
known you.--Your harshness has been sweeter to me than
the passion of other men; and, although you have made me
suffer intensely, all the pleasure I have ever had has
come to me from you; through you I have caught a glimpse
of what I might have been. You have been a flash of
light in my darkness, and you have illuminated many dark
places in my soul; you have opened new perspectives in my
life.--I owe it to you that I know what love is,--unhappy
love, it is true; but there is a melancholy and profound
fascination in loving without being loved, and it is
pleasant to remember those who forget us. It is a joy
simply to be able to love, even when one loves alone, and
many die without having had it, and often they who love
are not the most to be pitied.
THÉODORE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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