Mademoiselle de Maupin, Volume 1 (of 2)Gautier, Théophile
General
Mademoiselle de Maupin, Volume 1 (of 2)
Gautier, Théophile
French fiction -- Translations into English
In what does Rosette fall short of being that woman? In this, that I do
not believe she is. By what fatality do I always have for mistresses,
women that I do not love? Her neck is smooth enough to set off the
most beautifully-wrought necklaces; her fingers are taper enough to do
honor to the loveliest and richest rings; the ruby would blush with
pleasure to gleam on the pink lobe of her delicate ear; the cestus of
Venus would fit her waist; but Love alone has the secret of tying his
mother's scarf.
All Rosette's merit is in herself, I have attributed nothing to
her that she has not. I have not cast over her beauty the veil of
perfection with which love envelops the loved one;--the veil of Isis is
transparent beside that veil. Naught but satiety can raise the corner
of it.
I do not love Rosette; at least my love for her, if I have any, does
not resemble the ideal I have formed of love. It may be that my ideal
is not a just one, I do not dare to say. Certain it is that it makes me
insensible to the merits of other women, and I have desired no other
with any consistency since I have had her. If she has any reason to be
jealous, it is of phantoms only, about which she worries very little,
and yet her most formidable rival is my imagination; that is something
which, with all her shrewdness, she will probably never discover.
If women only knew!--How many infidelities the least fickle lover is
guilty of to the most adored mistress!--It is to be presumed that they
pay us back in full and more; but they do as we do and say nothing.
A mistress is a necessary subject, who ordinarily disappears under
flourishes and embroidery. Very often the kisses you give her are not
for her; you embrace the idea of another woman in her person, and she
profits not infrequently--if it can be called profiting--by the desires
aroused by another. Ah! my poor Rosette, how many times you have served
as a body to my dreams and given reality to your rivals; to how many
infidelities have you unwittingly been accessory! If you could have
imagined, at times when my arms clasped you so tightly, when my mouth
was most closely united to yours, that your beauty and your love had
nothing to do with my passion, that the thought of you was a hundred
leagues from my mind; what if some one had told you that those eyes,
veiled with amorous languor, were cast down simply in order not to look
at you and not to banish the illusion that you served only to complete,
and that, instead of being a mistress, you were simply an instrument of
lust, a means of assuaging a desire impossible of realization!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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