Magic: A Fantastic ComedyChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
Science
Magic: A Fantastic Comedy
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English drama (Comedy)
PATRICIA. [_Thinking._] Yes, you did tell me a great deal of the truth.
You told me hundreds and thousands of truths. But you never told me the
truth that one wants to know.
CONJURER. And what is that?
PATRICIA. [_Turning back into the room._] You never told me the truth
about yourself. You never told me you were only the Conjurer.
CONJURER. I did not tell you that because I do not even know it. I do
not know whether I am only the Conjurer....
PATRICIA. What do you mean?
CONJURER. Sometimes I am afraid I am something worse than the Conjurer.
PATRICIA. [_Seriously._] I cannot think of anything worse than a
conjurer who does not call himself a conjurer.
CONJURER. [_Gloomily._] There is something worse. [_Rallying himself._]
But that is not what I want to say. Do you really find that very
unpardonable? Come, let me put you a case. Never mind about whether it
is our case. A man spends his time incessantly in going about in
third-class carriages to fifth-rate lodgings. He has to make up new
tricks, new patter, new nonsense, sometimes every night of his life.
Mostly he has to do it in the beastly black cities of the Midlands and
the North, where he can't get out into the country. Now and again he
does it at some gentleman's country-house, where he can get out into the
country. Well, you know that actors and orators and all sorts of people
like to rehearse their effects in the open air if they can. [_Smiles._]
You know that story of the great statesman who was heard by his own
gardener saying, as he paced the garden, "Had I, Mr. Speaker, received
the smallest intimation that I could be called upon to speak this
evening...." [PATRICIA _controls a smile, and he goes on with
overwhelming enthusiasm._] Well, conjurers are just the same. It takes
some time to prepare an impromptu. A man like that walks about the
woods and fields doing all his tricks beforehand, and talking all sorts
of gibberish because he thinks he is alone. One evening this man found
he was not alone. He found a very beautiful child was watching him.
PATRICIA. A child?
CONJURER. Yes. That was his first impression. He is an intimate friend
of mine. I have known him all my life. He tells me he has since
discovered she is not a child. She does not fulfil the definition.
PATRICIA. What is the definition of a child?
CONJURER. Somebody you can play with.
PATRICIA. [_Abruptly._] Why did you wear that cloak with the hood up?
CONJURER. [_Smiling._] I think it escaped your notice that it was
raining.
PATRICIA. [_Smiling faintly._] And what did this friend of yours do?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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