Magic: A Fantastic ComedyChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
Science
Magic: A Fantastic Comedy
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English drama (Comedy)
DOCTOR. [_Slightly encouraged, but speaking very carefully._]
Nevertheless, mental excitement is necessarily an element of importance
in physiological troubles, and your triumphs this evening were really so
extraordinary that I cannot pretend to dismiss them from my patient's
case. He is at present in a state somewhat analogous to delirium, but in
which he can still partially ask and answer questions. The question he
continually asks is how you managed to do your last trick.
CONJURER. Ah! My last trick!
DOCTOR. Now I was wondering whether we could make any arrangement which
would be fair to you in the matter. Would it be possible for you to give
me in confidence the means of satisfying this--this fixed idea he seems
to have got. [_He hesitates again, and picks his words more slowly._]
This special condition of semi-delirious disputation is a rare one, and
connected in my experience with rather unfortunate cases.
CONJURER. [_Looking at him steadily._] Do you mean he is going mad?
DOCTOR. [_Rather taken aback for the first time._] Really, you ask me an
unfair question. I could not explain the fine shades of these things to
a layman. And even if--if what you suggest were so, I should have to
regard it as a professional secret.
CONJURER. [_Still looking at him._] And don't you think you ask me a
rather unfair question, Dr. Grimthorpe? If yours is a professional
secret, is not mine a professional secret too? If you may hide truth
from the world, why may not I? You don't tell your tricks. I don't tell
my tricks.
DOCTOR. [_With some heat._] Ours are not tricks.
CONJURER. [_Reflectively._] Ah, no one can be sure of that till the
tricks are told.
DOCTOR. But the public can see a doctor's cures as plain as....
CONJURER. Yes. As plain as they saw the red lamp over his door this
evening.
DOCTOR. [_After a pause._] Your secret, of course, would be strictly
kept by every one involved.
CONJURER. Oh, of course. People in delirium always keep secrets
strictly.
DOCTOR. No one sees the patient but his sister and myself.
CONJURER. [_Starts slightly._] Yes, his sister. Is she very anxious?
DOCTOR. [_In a lower voice._] What would you suppose?
[CONJURER _throws himself into the chair, his cloak slipping back
from his evening dress. He ruminates for a short space and then
speaks._
CONJURER. Doctor, there are about a thousand reasons why I should not
tell you how I really did that trick. But one will suffice, because it
is the most practical of all.
DOCTOR. Well? And why shouldn't you tell me?
CONJURER. Because you wouldn't believe me if I did.
[_A silence, the_ DOCTOR _looking at him curiously._
[_Enter the_ DUKE _with papers in his hand. His usual gaiety of
manner has a rather forced air, owing to the fact that by some
vague sick-room associations he walks as if on tip-toe and begins
to speak in a sort of loud or shrill whisper. This he fortunately
forgets and falls into his more natural voice._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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