Magic: A Fantastic ComedyChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
Science
Magic: A Fantastic Comedy
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English drama (Comedy)
MORRIS. Well, I guess there's going to be a shadow hunt. Got a lantern,
Duke?
PATRICIA. Oh, you need not trouble. He will come if I call him.
[_She goes out into the garden and calls out some half-chanted and
unintelligible words, somewhat like the song preceding her
entrance. The red light reappears; and there is a slight sound as
of fallen leaves shuffled by approaching feet. The cloaked_
STRANGER _with the pointed hood is seen standing outside the garden
doors._
PATRICIA. You may enter all doors.
[_The figure comes into the room_
MORRIS. [_Shutting the garden doors behind him._] Now, see here, wizard,
we've got you. And we know you're a fraud.
SMITH. [_Quietly._] Pardon me, I do not fancy that we know that. For
myself I must confess to something of the Doctor's agnosticism.
MORRIS. [_Excited, and turning almost with a snarl._] I didn't know you
parsons stuck up for any fables but your own.
SMITH. I stick up for the thing every man has a right to. Perhaps the
only thing that every man has a right to.
MORRIS. And what is that?
SMITH. The benefit of the doubt. Even your master, the petroleum
millionaire, has a right to that. And I think he needs it more.
MORRIS. I don't think there's much doubt about the question, Minister.
I've met this sort of fellow often enough--the sort of fellow who
wheedles money out of girls by telling them he can make stones
disappear.
DOCTOR. [_To the_ STRANGER.] Do you say you can make stones disappear?
STRANGER. Yes. I can make stones disappear.
MORRIS. [_Roughly._] I reckon you're the kind of tough who knows how to
make a watch and chain disappear.
STRANGER. Yes; I know how to make a watch and chain disappear.
MORRIS. And I should think you were pretty good at disappearing
yourself.
STRANGER. I have done such a thing.
MORRIS. [_With a sneer._] Will you disappear now?
STRANGER. [_After reflection._] No, I think I'll appear instead. [_He
throws back his hood, showing the head of an intellectual-looking man,
young but rather worn. Then he unfastens his cloak and throws it off,
emerging in complete modern evening dress. He advances down the room
towards the_ DUKE, _taking out his watch as he does so._] Good-evening,
your Grace. I'm afraid I'm rather too early for the performance. But
this gentleman [_with a gesture towards_ MORRIS] seemed rather impatient
for it to begin.
DUKE. [_Rather at a loss._] Oh, good-evening. Why, really--are you
the...?
STRANGER. [_Bowing._] Yes. I am the Conjurer.
[_There is general laughter, except from_ PATRICIA. _As the others
mingle in talk, the_ STRANGER _goes up to her._
STRANGER. [_Very sadly._] I am very sorry I am not a wizard.
PATRICIA. I wish you were a thief instead.
STRANGER. Have I committed a worse crime than thieving?
PATRICIA. You have committed the cruellest crime, I think, that there
is.
STRANGER. And what is the cruellest crime?
PATRICIA. Stealing a child's toy.
STRANGER. And what have I stolen?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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