Farm life -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Science fiction
"The bio men and the others should be assembled in the main briefing
room at range headquarters. I've ordered a double guard around the
barn, to be maintained until the animal boys have finished their
on-the-ground tests. And they're padding a device van to take Sally to
the labs when they're ready.
"And ... oh yeah, I almost forgot ... the commissioner called about ten
minutes ago and said to tell you that the Russians are going to make a
formal protest to the U.N. this morning. They say we're trying to wipe
out the People's Republic by contaminating their milk."
The sound of scuffling in the yard and loud yells of protest came
through the back porch window. The door swung open and a spluttering
and irate Barney was thrust into the room, still in the clutches of a
pair of armed security policemen.
"Get your hands offn me," Barney roared as he struggled and squirmed
impotently in their grip. "Doc, tell these pistol-packing bellhops to
turn me loose."
"We caught him trying to get into the barn, sir," one of the officers
told Peterson.
"Of course I was going into the barn," the indignant ranch hand
screamed. "Where'd you think I would go to milk a cow?"
Peterson smiled. "It's all right, Fred. It's my fault. I should have
told you Mr. Hatfield has free access."
The security men released Barney. He shook himself and glared at them.
"I'm terribly, sorry, Barney," Dr. Peterson said. "I forgot that you
would be going down to milk the cows and I'm glad you reminded me. Do
me a favor and milk Sally first, will you? I want to take that milk, or
whatever it is, with us when we leave in a few minutes."
* * * * *
The sun was crawling up the side of the mountains when Johnny and Dr.
Peterson swung out of the ranch yard between two armored scout cars for
the sixty-mile trip down the range road. Dew glistened in the early
rays of light and the clear, cool morning air held little hint of the
heat sure to come by midmorning. There was a rush of photographers
towards the gate as the little convoy left the ranch. A battery of
cameras grabbed shots of the vehicles heading south.
It was the beginning of a day that changed the entire foreign policy of
the United States. It was also the day that started a host of the
nation's finest nuclear physicists tottering towards psychiatrists'
couches.
In rapid order in the next few days, Peterson's crew reinforced by
hundreds of fellow scientists, technicians and military men, learned
what Johnny Culpepper already knew.
They learned that (1) Sally's milk, diluted by as much as four hundred
parts of pure water, made a better fuel than gasoline when ignited.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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