It was fine, that day, Landon thought. Some kind of great sorrow that
he'd forgotten he'd carried lifted from him and his chest and
shoulders expanded and he breathed easy. What was the sorrow? The
death of the New Work. The death of the dot-coms. The death of
everything he'd considered important and worthy, its fading into
tawdry, cheap nostalgia.
They were sitting in the grass in Dolores Park now, watching the dogs
and their people romp among the robot pooper-scoopers. He had his arm
around her shoulders, like war-buddies on a bender (he told himself)
and not like a middle-aged man flirting with a woman he hadn't seen in
years.
And then they were lying down, the ache of laughter in their bellies,
the sun on their faces, the barks and happy shouts around them. Their
hands twined together (but that was friendly too, Arab men held hands
walking down the street as a way of showing friendship).
Now their talk had banked down to coals, throwing off an occasional
spark when one or the other would remember some funny anecdote and
grunt out a word or two that would set them both to gingerly
chuckling. But their hands were tied and their breathing was in sync,
and their flanks were touching and it wasn't just friendly.
Abruptly, she shook her hand free and rolled on her side. "Listen,
married man, I think that's enough of that."
He felt his face go red. His ears rang. "Suzanne -- what --" He was
sputtering.
"No harm no foul, but let's keep it friendly, all right."
The spell was broken, and the sorrow came back. He looked for the
right thing to say. "God I miss it," he said. "Oh, Suzanne, God, I
miss it so much, every day."
Her face fell, too. "Yeah." She looked away. "I really thought we were
changing the world."
"We were," he said. "We did."
"Yeah," she said again. "But it didn't matter in the end, did it? Now
we're older and our work is forgotten and it's all come to
nothing. Petersburg is nice, but who gives a shit? Is that what I'm
going to do with the rest of my life, hang around Petersburg blogging
about the mafiyeh and medical tourism? Just shoot me now."
"I miss the people. I'd meet ten amazing creative geniuses every day
-- at least! Then I'd give them money and they'd make amazing stuff
happen with it. The closest I come to that now is my kids, watching
them learn and build stuff, which is really great, don't get me wrong,
but it's nothing like the old days."
"I miss Lester. And Perry. Tjan. The whole gang of them, really." She
propped herself up on one elbow and then shocked him by kissing him
hard on the cheek. "Thanks, Kettlebelly. Thank you so much for putting
me in the middle of all that. You changed my life, that's for sure."
He felt the imprint of her lips glowing on his cheek and grinned. "OK,
here's an idea: let's go buy a couple bottles of wine, sit on my
patio, get a glow on, and then call Perry and see what he's up to."
"Oh, that's a good one," she said. "That's a *very* good one."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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