"Don't you fucking look at me like that. You're not better than me,
bitch!" Suzanne tugged free and stepped back quickly. "That's right,
run away! Bitch! Fuck you! Enjoy your lunch!"
She was shaking. Perry and Lester closed ranks around her. Lester
moved to confront the homeless woman.
"The fuck you want lard ass? You wanna fuck with me? I got a knife,
you know, cut your ears off and feed 'em to ya."
Lester cocked his head like the RCA Victor dog. He towered over the
skinny junkie, and was five or six times wider than her.
"You all right?" he said gently.
"Oh yeah, I'm just fine," she said. "Why, you looking for a party?"
He laughed. "You're joking -- I'd crush you!"
She laughed too, a less crazy, more relaxed sound. Lester's voice was
a low, soothing rumble. "I don't think my friend thinks she's any
better than you. I think she just wanted to help you out."
The junkie flicked her eyes back and forth. "Listen can you spare a
dollar for my baby?"
"I think she just wanted to help you. Can I get you some lunch?"
"Fuckers won't let me in -- won't let me use the toilet even. It's not
humane. Don't want to go in the bushes. Not dignified to go in the
bushes."
"That's true," he said. "What if I get you some take out, you got a
shady place you could eat it? Nursing's hungry work."
The junkie cocked her head. Then she laughed. "Yeah, OK, yeah. Sure --
thanks, thanks a lot!"
Lester motioned her over to the menu in the IHOP window and waited
with her while she picked out a helping of caramel-apple waffles,
sausage links, fried eggs, hash browns, coffee, orange juice and a
chocolate malted. "Is that all?" he said, laughing, laughing, both of
them laughing, all of them laughing at the incredible, outrageous
meal.
They went in and waited by the podium. The greeter, a black guy with
corn-rows, nodded at Lester and Perry like an old friend. "Hey Tony,"
Lester said. "Can you get us a go-bag with some take-out for the lady
outside before we sit down?" He recited the astounding order.
Tony shook his head and ducked it. "OK, be right up," he said. "You
want to sit while you're waiting?"
"We'll wait here, thanks," Lester said. "Don't want her to think we're
bailing on her." He turned and waved at her.
"She's mean, you know -- be careful."
"Thanks, Tony," Lester said.
Suzanne marveled at Lester's equanimity. Nothing got his goat. The
doggie bag arrived. "I put some extra napkins and a couple of wet-naps
in there," Tony said, handing it to him.
"Great!" Lester said. "You guys sit down, I'll be back in a second."
Perry motioned for Suzanne to follow him to a booth. He
laughed. "Lester's a good guy," he said. "The best guy I know, you
know?"
"How do you know him?" she asked, taking out her notepad.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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