Suzanne Church almost never had to bother with the blue blazer these
days. Back at the height of the dot-boom, she'd put on her business
journalist drag -- blazer, blue sailcloth shirt, khaki trousers,
loafers -- just about every day, putting in her obligatory appearances
at splashy press-conferences for high-flying IPOs and mergers. These
days, it was mostly work at home or one day a week at the San Jose
Mercury News's office, in comfortable light sweaters with loose necks
and loose cotton pants that she could wear straight to yoga after
shutting her computer's lid.
Blue blazer today, and she wasn't the only one. There was Reedy from
the NYT's Silicon Valley office, and Tribbey from the WSJ, and that
despicable rat-toothed jumped-up gossip columnist from one of the UK
tech-rags, and many others besides. Old home week, blue blazers fresh
from the dry-cleaning bags that had guarded them since the last time
the NASDAQ broke 5,000.
The man of the hour was Landon Kettlewell -- the kind of outlandish
prep-school name that always seemed a little made up to her -- the new
CEO and front for the majority owners of Kodak/Duracell. The
despicable Brit had already started calling them Kodacell. Buying the
company was pure Kettlewell: shrewd, weird, and ethical in a twisted
way.
"Why the hell have you done this, Landon?" Kettlewell asked himself
into his tie-mic. Ties and suits for the new Kodacell execs in the
room, like surfers playing dress-up. "Why buy two dinosaurs and stick
'em together? Will they mate and give birth to a new generation of
less-endangered dinosaurs?"
He shook his head and walked to a different part of the stage,
thumbing a PowerPoint remote that advanced his slide on the jumbotron
to a picture of a couple of unhappy cartoon brontos staring desolately
at an empty nest. "Probably not. But there is a good case for what
we've just done, and with your indulgence, I'm going to lay it out for
you now."
"Let's hope he sticks to the cartoons," Rat-Toothed hissed beside
her. His breath smelled like he'd been gargling turds. He had a
not-so-secret crush on her and liked to demonstrate his alpha-maleness
by making half-witticisms into her ear. "They're about his speed."
She twisted in her seat and pointedly hunched over her computer's
screen, to which she'd taped a thin sheet of polarized plastic that
made it opaque to anyone shoulder-surfing her. Being a halfway
attractive woman in Silicon Valley was more of a pain in the ass than
she'd expected, back when she'd been covering rustbelt shenanigans in
Detroit, back when there was an auto industry in Detroit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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