Malbone: An Oldport RomanceHigginson, Thomas Wentworth
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Malbone: An Oldport Romance
Higginson, Thomas Wentworth
Newport (R.I.) -- Fiction
One week after her marriage, in a crisis of agony, Emilia took up her
pen, dipped it in fire, and wrote thus to him:--
“Philip Malbone, why did nobody ever tell me what marriage is where
there is no love? This man who calls himself my husband is no worse,
I suppose, than other men. It is only for being what is called by that
name that I abhor him. Good God! what am I to do? It was not for money
that I married him,--that you know very well; I cared no more for his
money than for himself. I thought it was the only way to save Hope. She
has been very good to me, and perhaps I should love her, if I could love
anybody. Now I have done what will only make more misery, for I cannot
bear it. Philip, I am alone in this wide world, except for you. Tell me
what to do. I will haunt you till you die, unless you tell me. Answer
this, or I will write again.”
Terrified by this letter, absolutely powerless to guide the life with
which he had so desperately entangled himself, Philip let one day pass
without answering, and that evening he found Emilia at his door, she
having glided unnoticed up the main stairway. She was so excited, it was
equally dangerous to send her away or to admit her, and he drew her in,
darkening the windows and locking the door. On the whole, it was not so
bad as he expected; at least, there was less violence and more despair.
She covered her face with her hands, and writhed in anguish, when she
said that she had utterly degraded herself by this loveless marriage.
She scarcely mentioned her husband. She made no complaint of him, and
even spoke of him as generous. It seemed as if this made it worse, and
as if she would be happier if she could expend herself in hating him.
She spoke of him rather as a mere witness to some shame for which she
herself was responsible; bearing him no malice, but tortured by the
thought that he should exist.
Then she turned on Malbone. “Philip, why did you ever interfere with my
life? I should have been very happy with Antoine if you had let me marry
him, for I never should have known what it was to love you. Oh! I wish
he were here now, even he,--any one who loved me truly, and whom I could
love only a little. I would go away with such a person anywhere, and
never trouble you and Hope any more. What shall I do? Philip, you might
tell me what to do. Once you told me always to come to you.”
“What can you do?” he asked gloomily, in return.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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