Mam'selle JoComstock, Harriet T. (Harriet Theresa)
General
Mam'selle Jo
Comstock, Harriet T. (Harriet Theresa)
Saint Lawrence River Valley -- Fiction; Self-sacrifice -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
Gavot dared not look up, and for a moment a death-like silence fell in
the hot, tidy room. Jo looked about at her place of safety and freedom
and wondered how she could hurry the disturbing element out.
Just then Gavot spoke. He had grasped the only straw in sight on the
turgid stream.
"Mam’selle, you’re not too old yet to bear a child, but you’ll best
waste no time." And then he smiled a loathsome smile that had its roots
in all that had soiled and killed poor Margot Gavot’s life. Jo recoiled
as if something unclean were, indeed, near her.
"Don’t," she shuddered warningly, "don’t!" Then quite suddenly she
turned upon the man, her eyes blazing, her mouth twisted with revolt and
disdain.
"I wonder—if you could understand, if I showed you a woman’s heart?" she
asked with a curious break in her voice. "Long, long years I’ve ached
to show the poor, dead thing lying here," she put her work-hardened
hands across her breast, "to someone. There have been times when I have
wondered if the telling might not help other women in Point of Pines;
might not make men see plainer the wrong they do women; but until now
there has never been any one to tell."
Expression was crying aloud, and the incongruity of the situation did
not strike Jo Morey in her excitement.
"You’ve got to hear me out, Pierre Gavot," she went on. "You’ve come,
God knows why, to offer me all that you have to give in exchange
for—well! I’m going to give you all that I have to give you—all, all!
"There was a time, Gavot, when I longed for the thing that most women
long for, the thing that made Margot take you—you! She knew her
chances, poor soul, but you seemed the only way to her desires, so she
took you!
"’Tis no shame to a woman to want what her nature cries out for, and the
call comes when she’s least able to understand and choose. Here in
Point of Pines a girl has small choice. It is all well enough for them
who do not know to talk of love and the rest. The burning desire in man
and woman is there with or without love; it’s the mercy of God when love
is added. I knew what I wanted, all that counted to me must come
through man, and love—my own love—sanctified everything for me. I did
not understand, I did not try to, I was lifted up——"
Jo choked and Gavot twisted uneasily in his chair. This was all very
boring, but he must endure it for the time being.
"I—I was willing to play the game and take my chances," Jo had got
control of herself, "and I never feared, until it was forced upon me,
that my ugliness stood in the way. All that I had to offer, and I had
much, Gavot, much, counted as nothing with men because their eyes were
held by this face of mine and could not see what lay behind.
"Perhaps that was God’s way of saving me. I thought that for the first
when I saw Margot dying.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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