The Civil War destroyed this career, and Mark Twain went out to Nevada to become a gold miner, promising his mother that he would never return until he had made a fortune. He failed as a miner, and was forced to live by journalism. So he drifted into becoming the world’s buffoon. He always despised it--so much so that he put a pistol to his head. But he lacked the courage to pull the trigger, and had to go on and be a writer. His “Jumping Frog” story went around the world; after which he came East, and wrote “Innocents Abroad,” and made his three hundred thousand dollars. Shortly after that he exchanged the domination of his mother for that of a wife. He fell in love with the daughter of a wealthy coal-dealer in Elmira, New York. There was a terrible “to do” about it in respectable “up-State” circles, for Samuel Clemens was a wild and woolly westerner, who didn’t know how to handle a knife and fork, while the daughter of the coal-dealer had been brought up on an income of forty thousand dollars a year. However, this strange lover was a “lion,” so they decided to accept him and teach him parlor tricks. They gave the young couple a carriage and coachman, and a house which had cost twenty-five thousand dollars; it wasn’t long before he was completely justifying their faith, by living at the rate of a hundred thousand a year. The wife was a frail woman, a semi-invalid, and Mark Twain adored her; also, he was awe-stricken before her, because of her extremely high social position. She was ignorant, provincial, rigidly fixed in a narrow church-going respectability; by these standards she brought him up, and raised a couple of daughters to help him. As Clemens phrased it, his wife “edited” him; as his daughters phrased it, they “dusted papa off.” What these women did to America’s greatest humorist makes one of the most amazing stories in the history of culture. They went over everything he wrote and revised it according to the standards of the Elmira bourgeoisie. They suppressed the greater part of his most vital ideas, and kept him from finishing his most important works. When he wrote something commonplace and conventional they fell on his neck with delight, and helped to spend the fortune which it brought in. When he told the truth about America, or voiced his own conclusions about life, they forced him to burn it, or hide it in the bottom of a trunk. His one masterpiece, “Huckleberry Finn,” he wrote secretly at odd moments, taking many years at the task, and finally publishing it with anxiety. Mrs. Clemens came home from church one day, horrified by a rumor that her husband had put some swear words into a story; she made him produce the manuscript, in which poor Huck, telling how he can’t live in the respectable world, exclaims: “They comb me all to hell.” Now when you read “Huckleberry Finn,” you read: “They comb me all to thunder!”