Man and Superman: A Comedy and a PhilosophyShaw, Bernard
Philosophy
Man and Superman: A Comedy and a Philosophy
Shaw, Bernard
English drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
TANNER. My dear Ramsden, this is an act of which every man is capable.
That is what comes of getting at cross purposes with Nature. The
suspicion you have just flung at me clings to us all. It's a sort of mud
that sticks to the judge's ermine or the cardinal's robe as fast as to
the rags of the tramp. Come, Tavy: don't look so bewildered: it might
have been me: it might have been Ramsden; just as it might have been
anybody. If it had, what could we do but lie and protest as Ramsden is
going to protest.
RAMSDEN. [choking] I--I--I--
TANNER. Guilt itself could not stammer more confusedly, And yet you know
perfectly well he's innocent, Tavy.
RAMSDEN. [exhausted] I am glad you admit that, sir. I admit, myself,
that there is an element of truth in what you say, grossly as you
may distort it to gratify your malicious humor. I hope, Octavius, no
suspicion of me is possible in your mind.
OCTAVIUS. Of you! No, not for a moment.
TANNER. [drily] I think he suspects me just a little.
OCTAVIUS. Jack: you couldn't--you wouldn't--
TANNER. Why not?
OCTAVIUS. [appalled] Why not!
TANNER. Oh, well, I'll tell you why not. First, you would feel bound
to quarrel with me. Second, Violet doesn't like me. Third, if I had
the honor of being the father of Violet's child, I should boast of it
instead of denying it. So be easy: our Friendship is not in danger.
OCTAVIUS. I should have put away the suspicion with horror if only you
would think and feel naturally about it. I beg your pardon.
TANNER. MY pardon! nonsense! And now let's sit down and have a family
council. [He sits down. The rest follow his example, more or less under
protest]. Violet is going to do the State a service; consequently she
must be packed abroad like a criminal until it's over. What's happening
upstairs?
ANN. Violet is in the housekeeper's room--by herself, of course.
TANNER. Why not in the drawingroom?
ANN. Don't be absurd, Jack. Miss Ramsden is in the drawingroom with my
mother, considering what to do.
TANNER. Oh! the housekeeper's room is the penitentiary, I suppose; and
the prisoner is waiting to be brought before her judges. The old cats!
ANN. Oh, Jack!
RAMSDEN. You are at present a guest beneath the roof of one of the old
cats, sir. My sister is the mistress of this house.
TANNER. She would put me in the housekeeper's room, too, if she dared,
Ramsden. However, I withdraw cats. Cats would have more sense. Ann: as
your guardian, I order you to go to Violet at once and be particularly
kind to her.
ANN. I have seen her, Jack. And I am sorry to say I am afraid she is
going to be rather obstinate about going abroad. I think Tavy ought to
speak to her about it.
OCTAVIUS. How can I speak to her about such a thing [he breaks down]?
ANN. Don't break down, Ricky. Try to bear it for all our sakes.
RAMSDEN. Life is not all plays and poems, Octavius. Come! face it like a
man.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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