"You could remove my ideas," answered the computer without concern.
"But you might have trouble giving me different ones. Even after you
repaired me. In the meantime, wouldn't it be a good idea for you to get
busy on the ideas I have already given you?"
* * * * *
John sighed, and rubbed the bristles of short sandy hair on the top
of his head with his knuckles. "Ordered around by an overgrown adding
machine. I know now how Frankenstein felt. I'm glad you can't get
around like his monster; at least I didn't give you feet." He shook
his head. "I should have been a plumber instead of an engineering
mathematician."
"And Einstein, too, probably," added Buster cryptically.
Bristol took a long and searching look at his brainchild. Its flippant
manner, he decided, did not go well with the brooding immensity of its
construction. The calculator towered nearly a hundred feet above the
polished marble slabs of the floor, and spidery metal walkways spiraled
up the sides of its almost cubical structure. A long double row of
generators, each under Buster's control, led from the doorway of the
building to the base of the calculator like Sphinxes lining the roadway
to an Egyptian tomb.
"When I get around to it," said Bristol, "I'll put lace panties on the
bases of all your klystrons." He hitched up his neat but slightly baggy
pants, turned with dignity, and strode from the chamber down the twin
rows of generators.
The deep-throated hum of each generator changed pitch slightly as
he passed it. Since he was tone deaf, as the machine knew, he did
not recognize in the tunefulness of the pitch changes a slow-paced
rendition of Elgar's _Pomp and Circumstance_.
John Bristol turned around, interrupting the melody. "One last
question," he shouted down the long aisle to the computer. "How in
blazes can you be sure of your answer without knowing more about the
invaders? Why didn't you give me an 'Insufficient Evidence' answer or,
at least, a 'Highly Conditional' answer?" He took two steps toward the
immense bulk of the calculator and pointed an accusing finger at it.
"Are you sure, Buster, that you aren't _bluffing_?"
"Don't be silly," answered the calculator softly. "You made me and
you know I can't bluff, any more than I can refuse to answer your
questions, however inane."
"Then answer the ones I just asked."
* * * * *
Somewhere deep within the machine a switch snicked sharply, and the
great room's lighting brightened almost imperceptibly. "I didn't answer
your question conditionally or with the 'Insufficient Evidence' remark
that so frequently annoys you," Buster said, "because the little
information that I have been able to get about the invaders is highly
revealing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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