“That fellow doesn’t,” said Michael decisively; “I mean that fellow
Smith. I have a fancy there’s some method in his madness. It looks as
if he could turn into a sort of wonderland any minute by taking one
step out of the plain road. Who would have thought of that trapdoor?
Who would have thought that this cursed colonial claret could taste
quite nice among the chimney-pots? Perhaps that is the real key of
fairyland. Perhaps Nosey Gould’s beastly little Empire Cigarettes ought
only to be smoked on stilts, or something of that sort. Perhaps Mrs.
Duke’s cold leg of mutton would seem quite appetizing at the top of a
tree. Perhaps even my damned, dirty, monotonous drizzle of Old Bill
Whisky—”
“Don’t be so rough on yourself,” said Inglewood, in serious distress.
“The dullness isn’t your fault or the whisky’s. Fellows who don’t—
fellows like me I mean—have just the same feeling that it’s all rather
flat and a failure. But the world’s made like that; it’s all survival.
Some people are made to get on, like Warner; and some people are made
to stick quiet, like me. You can’t help your temperament. I know you’re
much cleverer than I am; but you can’t help having all the loose ways
of a poor literary chap, and I can’t help having all the doubts and
helplessness of a small scientific chap, any more than a fish can help
floating or a fern can help curling up. Humanity, as Warner said so
well in that lecture, really consists of quite different tribes of
animals all disguised as men.”
In the dim garden below the buzz of talk was suddenly broken by Miss
Hunt’s musical instrument banging with the abruptness of artillery into
a vulgar but spirited tune.
Rosamund’s voice came up rich and strong in the words of some fatuous,
fashionable coon song:—
“Darkies sing a song on the old plantation,
Sing it as we sang it in days long since gone by.”
Inglewood’s brown eyes softened and saddened still more as he continued
his monologue of resignation to such a rollicking and romantic tune.
But the blue eyes of Michael Moon brightened and hardened with a light
that Inglewood did not understand. Many centuries, and many villages
and valleys, would have been happier if Inglewood or Inglewood’s
countrymen had ever understood that light, or guessed at the first
blink that it was the battle star of Ireland.
“Nothing can ever alter it; it’s in the wheels of the universe,” went
on Inglewood, in a low voice: “some men are weak and some strong, and
the only thing we can do is to know that we are weak. I have been in
love lots of times, but I could not do anything, for I remembered my
own fickleness. I have formed opinions, but I haven’t the cheek to push
them, because I’ve so often changed them. That’s the upshot, old
fellow. We can’t trust ourselves— and we can’t help it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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